Faith

Last night we went to the Good Friday service at the church we've been attending and then went to dinner with our neighbors. April and I were talking about my news and I brought up what a miracle this has been. About three weeks ago, I shared my story of the miscarriage and trying again with the Sunday School class and asked for prayers this month to "let it go." I was serious when I said that I thought God wanted me to learn that He is in control.

April made a comment that it was like God was saying, "I have this wonderful gift for you, but I just need you to learn one thing first."

I hope I've learned.

I know alot of people pray for things they need or want. They turn to God in hard times, but I think the tendency is that when you get what you want, you say, "Well, thanks God. Good job. Now I think I can handle it from here." My prayer now is to realize that I'm still not in control. It's not time for me to take it back over. One thing I learned from my miscarriage was that it wasn't my "fault." I couldn't have done anything differently to get a different outcome. I think I need God even more right now. I want to say, "Thanks God. Good job. Now we've still got a lot of work to do. You can protect this baby more than I can. Keep it safe for me."

Letting God stay in control should be a real source of comfort for me. If He's in control, then I shouldn't even waste my time worrying. There's nothing I can do and by worrying, it's a sign that I can't complete trust that He's doing it right. Now I'm human, so I'm sure I'll worry, but I'll try not to take my burden back away from Him too often. I think this is something He can handle more than I can.