Monday, May 29, 2006

Lots of Catching Up to Do

I haven't blogged in a long time and have lots of catching up to do.

School Stuff
Last post I mentioned my first chemistry A. Well, I had another test last week and after taking a vacation day on Wednesday to study, I got a 96% on what should have been the hardest test yet. I was very excited and now because of getting to drop my lowest score and the rest of the grading, I should be able to get an A in the class as long as I get a mid to high B on the final.

Speaking of the final...It is scheduled for June 6, which I was supposed to be going to Finland for work and was going to have to schedule a make-up later. Last week, I finally got an answer out of work and becuase of cost, they aren't letting us go, so no trip and luckily for me, I can now take my test as planned.

Cancer Stuff
I want to thank Jacki for her nice comments about me on The Cancer Blog. Sometimes I feel like I'm just muddling through, but it always is nice to have other people say such nice things about you.

I've been taking the tamoxifen for about 3 weeks now and so far don't notice any side effects. That's good. I'll just keep taking it for a while and hope it's doing it's job.

In about 2 weeks, I have an appointment for consultation at the Cancer Genetics center. They'll take about an hour to create a family pedigree and go over my cancer risk. If everyone agrees, this is the first step to having the genetic testing done for the BRCA1 & BRCA2 genes. My biggest fear about the genetic testing is that after seeing my lack of family history, that they won't want to do the testing. I want to do it regardless. While they were both smokers, both of my paternal grandparents died from lung cancer and while there doesn't appear to be a connection between lung and breast cancer, I'd still like to know. Plus, because of my age, my Oncologist, Dr. Y, has been throwing around the idea of prophylactic surgery to remove my ovaries, and that's a decision that would be easier made if I knew if I was at an increased risk of developing Ovarian Cancer. Maybe my desire is enough to get it done. I guess I'll find out in a couple of weeks.

Life in General Stuff
I wanted to give you lots of pictures from our last two weekends, but I'm having a "Memory Card Error" and can't seem to retrieve them from my camera right now. I'll keep working on it though. Let's see...

Last weekend, we drove to Lafayette on Friday night to go to my friend Jamie's wedding. Well, technically Jamie is the cousin/sister of two of my best friends, but that makes her a friend by relation. Pictures are at Danialle's site. It was beautiful and we had a good time, despite the fact that Grace didn't get to nap on Saturday and was all screwed up on her schedule.

This week was a little crazy at work. Tuesday, I went golfing all afternoon. I got a little sun and did reasonably well. I think I could really like golfing if I had a chance to do it more often. Wednesday, I took the day off. In the morning I had to take Eric to drop his car off for some minor repair and then take him to work and Grace to daycare. I spent the morning studying, and then had a Herceptin appointment in the afternoon. Friday was an early close day, so I didn't feel like I got all that much accomplished at the office.

This weekend was also very nice. Friday afternoon I came home and did 11, yes that's right, 11 loads of laundry! Friday night Eric and I watched X-Men 1 & 2 in anticipation of possibly going to the movies this weekend. Saturday, I finished up the packing, took Grace to gymnastics, and then we went to Ava's 1st birthday party. It was fun and Ava really liked her cake! After the party we came home, loaded the car and headed to Indiana. We got to Grandma's just after 8 p.m. We put Grace down in a pack-n-play, until around 10:30 when we headed over to my cousin Karey's house to sleep. Sunday, we went to church with my Grandparent's, had lunch at Pizza Hut, stopped by Wal-Mart so Grandpa (my Dad) could buy Grace a bubble gun, and then went to Grandma's. Grace took a very short nap while we were making the food for a cookout. My cousin Kevin, had a graduation open house in the early afternoon. He was the Valedictorian and played both baseball and basketball. I'm so impressed! We then had a cookout and all hung out until around 7:30 p.m. Then we went back to Karey's and finally got to put Grace to bed. She was a terror this weekend. I think the change in schedule really throws her off, so she was tired and surrounded by lots of people she didn't know. She wouldn't hardly let me leave her side. Sunday night, Eric, my Dad, and Jeremy decided to go to a 10:00 showing of X-Men 3, but Mom and I were tired and decided to stay back with the cousins. We started watching Big Momma's House 2, but I couldn't even make it through that one.

Today, we got up and hit the road around 9 a.m. Grace is still napping and since she's been asleep about 2 1/2 hours, I'm thinking I should get her up, so she'll go to bed tonight.

One last thing... I also started doing the Weight Watcher's program on my own this week. Meaning, I'm following the plans but not planning on going to any meetings. I'll weigh-in in the morning, but I think I lost 3 pounds this week. Yeah! Only 20 more to go. I think this could work though. It's flexible enough, so that if you want to eat something that you wouldn't consider healthy, you can, you just have to count it and make adjustments to the rest of your meals that day. Or there is also a surplus of points for the week that you can dip into if you go over on a particular day, or you can save up for a "free day." For example, I saved most of mine for the cookout yesterday. Yum!

Ok, really, I'm going to go check on the baby!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Celebrations

This has been a weekend of celebration. In a sort of low-key way.

Starting off, Thursday night I finally got an A on a chemistry test. Yahoo! Now if I can get an A on the 4th mid-quarter and the final, I should be able to have an A in the class. That is definately cause for celebration. Also, when I got home from class, Eric had cleaned up downstairs and even vacuumed and mopped the kitchen floor.

Friday, was our 5 Year Wedding anniversary. Maybe I should update my profile...Anyway, I've now been married 5 years. Yahoo! Eric did give me a card first thing in the morning. I had one for him too. After work I gave him the clothes I had bought him at Kaufman's (a couple of shirts and a new pair of khaki shorts). Then we went to buy my requested gift. First we stopped at Fazoli's for dinner and Grace really enjoyed the people-watching while she ate her spaghetti. Then we went to Wal-Mart where I got a set of women's golf clubs. They are Wilson clubs, but they are breast cancer clubs, meaning the bag as a really pretty pink trim on it and the club heads have a touch of pink, with a ribbon and the word Hope. Very pretty. I don't actually golf...but, I do have a golf outing scheduled in about 2 weeks with a client, so I needed to do something. I'm supposed to go do a practice round tomorrow with some other ladies from work. At least I'll look cute! By about 8:00 p.m. Grace started melting down in Wal-Mart, partially caused by the fact that I wouldn't let her play in the toy section all night. This resulted in her not getting any toys (she was only going to get one if she was good), and Eric had to take her out to the car while I checked out. After we got home and Grace went to bed, I spent the rest of the evening doing some major cleaning upstairs. Vacuuming, cleaning both bathrooms, and changing the catlitter).

Saturday, Eric went to have some fun. He went golfing (with his own clubs) with Will and his friend Brock, and Samara's brother Donnie. Grace and I went to gymnastics. Grace is really enjoying gymnastics now. She likes the routine and knows what comes next and really enjoys doing flips and playing on the equipment. After that, we came home had lunch and a nap. My nap was shorter than Grace's so I balanced the checkbook after I got up. Shortly after Grace got up and had her snack, the guys came home from golf. Will took Grace with him back to their house so Eric and I could have a date. We went to The Melting Pot for some fondue. It was really yummy, I think we made good choices for the cooking style for our meats and instead of doing the sampler platter, we ordered steak and chicken only, so we loved every bite! We also had great conversation. It makes me realize that we don't talk enough. We talk about Grace's day and make plans for the next day, etc., but we don't really talk. That's important and we both have promised to try to communicate more effectively, so we don't get annoyed with each other. We'd like to make it many more years! Once we finished eating it was only 8:00 p.m. and we didn't know what to do next. We had considered going to play putt-putt, but it was raining, and we didn't really want to go to a movie, so we ended up going back to Will and Samara's and hanging out. That was really nice too, because we haven't spent much time with them since the kids came along. We sat and talked for a couple of hours, and finally headed home at close to 11 p.m.

Today was my 2nd Mother's Day! Eric got Grace up this morning, and when discussed making pancakes for me, but we decided to just go to McDonald's for breakfast on the go instead. We went to church and then picked up lunch and then I got to have my Mother's Day nap. Once Grace gets up from hers, we'll go to the grocery store and tonight is the Survivor finale and of course Desparate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. Hmmmm....good TV!

It's been a very nice weekend. Next weekend we'll be out of town for most of it going to a wedding back in my hometown and staying with my friend Erica for the weekend. Fun!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Tamoxifen

I'm going to try to update quickly on my appointment with Dr. Y last week during my Herceptin appointment, because it is changing my treatment plans. I need to be quick though, as I have another chemistry exam tomorrow and need to study!

Wednesday last week I saw Dr. Y when I was in for my Herceptin infusion. He started off by talking alot about Tamoxifenand encouraging me that he thinks I should take it.

In case you don't remember any previous discussions, here's a brief overview of my history and the use of Tamoxifen. One test they do on breast cancer tumors if for estrogen (ER) and progesterone (PR) sensitivity. The cancer cells can have receptors that soak up estrogen or progesterone and that extra estrogen or progesterone can cause them to grow. My results were negative for progesterone and "focally weakly positive" for estrogen. This means that there were some spots on my tumor that had positive receptors, but not the whole thing and they didn't take in huge amounts of estrogen. There is a drug that is commonly prescribed when women are ER positive. It is called Tamoxifen and it is an anti-estrogen drug. Back when I was diagnosed, Dr. L had hoped I was ER positive because this drug does great things for stopping recurrence. It is also sometimes prescribed as a breast cancer prevention drug in high-risk patients. I did not want to be positive, because the common protocol is to take the drug (in pill form) daily for 5 years. During this time, I should not get pregnant. However, when my results came back initially, they were so faintly positive, that Dr. L told me they were negative. When we talked to Dr. Y for our inital consultation, he told me that in my case taking Tamoxifen would increase my survival rate stats from approximately 95 to 96%. If I were a strong positive it would have taken me from 95 to about 98%.

Fast forward. Over the past months, Dr. Y has mentioned Tamoxifen and that we'd discuss it later. I've done alot of thinking about it, and in my head, I was willing to give up that extra 1% of survival rate, to continue to build my family. I would love to start trying soon after I get the green light from Dr. L which will be in about 18 months.

Here were the benefits:
- Shown to decrease risk of cancer in other breast by up to 49%
- Lowers risk of osteoperosis
- Gives me back that percentage point on the survival rate

And the drawbacks:
- With a "focally weakly positive" diagnosis, I get limited benefit
- No pregnancy while taking
- Increased risk of endometrial cancer
- Menopausal type symptoms (hot flashes, vaginal dryness, mood swings)
- Increased risk of blood clots (heart attack, stroke, etc.)

I told him that while I didn't want to be selfish and risk my health, at the same time, continuing my family is important to me. My current plan for baby #2 would be the perfect timing for my med school plans. If I do 5 years of Tamoxifen, I would be right in the middle of med school before I got the go ahead, so I would want to wait until I was done, so now we're looking more at 7 or 8 years until I would get pregnant. I know people have kids at age 35, but I'm not sure that I want 9 years between my children. It seems like a lifetime. He asked what my plans were for having children. I told him, God-willing, I would get the all clear at the 2-year mark (Sept. 2007). Due to my class and M-CAT plans, I would wait until January 2008 to start trying to get pregnant. He told me that my risk of recurrence is front-loaded, meaning that I have a higher risk of recurrence the first 2 or 3 years. He thought for a moment, and then told me, "I'll take it." So, we compromised. I'll take the Tamoxifen for the next 20 months or so, and then if all doctors agree, I can stop it and get pregnant. I asked if it is safe to stop and get pregnant immediately and he said it leaves your system within 2 weeks.

Next we discussed the possibility of removing my ovaries when I'm done having children. This is still a theoretical discussion. I'd like to get the genetic testing done first and see if I really have an increased risk. His view was that Ovarian Cancer is extremely hard to screen for. There isn't an easy way to catch it early, so most people aren't diagnosed until Stage 3 or 4 and by then it's almost too late. I agree it sounds nasty and if the testing reveals I'm at an increased risk, I'll gladly give them up in a few years. Although, if there isn't any proof that I'm at risk, I'm not sure how eager I am to go into menopause in my 30's and permanently shut the door on future children (I'm not entirely sure 2 is enough for me). So, we'll continue to talk.

So, that was a heavy appointment. I'm happy with my decision and very glad that my doctor was willing to spend the time to talk about it rather than just writing me a prescription. This is also a decision that can remain flexible. I've started the drugs (day 3 now), and maybe in 20 months we'll all decide that I'm not ready to get started on baby #2 and then I can continue on the regimen. We'll just have to wait and see what God has in store. If anything, you'd think I learn that I can't make all the plans for my life!

Ok, time to go study!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

GWO - Inked


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Originally uploaded by Jenmomma.
I'm a little slow to post, but last weekend was another GWO weekend. It was very refreshing and I'm already looking forward to the next one.

Friday
Because I had class Thursday night, I didn't drive over until Friday morning. I got to Erica's right around 11:30 a.m. and as soon as I dropped off my bag, we jumped back in the car and drove to our hometown and had lunch at the China Inn. Yummy! After lunch, we picked up some ice cream at a local place and drove around looking for a house that Danialle may rent this summer. Around 2 p.m. we headed over to a local factory for the girls' Grandpa's retirement party. It was kind of fun because I worked there for 2 summers and both my parents worked there until they moved, so I knew alot of people and got to catch up. We did get a bit of bad news though. The girls' great-grandpa had to be taken to the hospital, where they found a tumor on his brain and that he was in renal failure. After some thought, they decided they didn't really want to watch him dying at the hospital, so we decided to keep our appointments and get tattoos.


Mine is the one in the picture. It is a Chinese symbol that means "survivor." I had him make it in pink for breast cancer awareness. He added the shading around the symbol to make it stand out a little more. Danialle went first and got three small stars in blue, I went second, and then Erica got a symbol that means sisterhood. I won't lie, it hurt, but it was bearable and totally worth it. I'm happy because I got something that has some meaning to it. It's on my lower back. It's a great location because it's easy to cover, you can't see it even if my shirt raises up in my work dress pants, but in lower rise jeans it would be visable. After the tattoos, we headed back to the girls' grandparent's house to visit with the family that was there for the retirement party and to see the great-grandpa. The evening helped ease D & E's minds, as it turns out that while he doesn't have much longer, he wasn't going to be leaving that soon and was still in good spirits. They also decided to transfer him from the local hospital to the hospital in the town that Erica lives. With that news we decided that we would stop by on Saturday to visit.

Saturday
We slept in until about 8:30 a.m. and then decided to head to IHOP for breakfast. After breakfast we spent a good deal of time wandering around Target and then headed to PetSmart. After that we headed to the hospital. There was a limited amount of space, so while D & E were in visiting their Great-Grandpa, I sat in the waiting room and had a nice conversation with Danialle's mom. Once they finished we headed back to Erica's where Heather was waiting for us. We made a healthy lunch of sandwiches, pasta salad, and fruit and decided to play Phase 10. After Phase 10, we started dominos and a few hands in, stopped to make pizzas. We played some more dominos, and finally around 10:30 decided to call it quits. Then we watched Memoirs of a Geisha and then hit the sack.

Sunday
Once we all woke up, we ate a light breakfast and said our goodbyes. I got home around 1:30 p.m. and then did the laundry, grocery shopping, paid bills, and did a little house cleaning. Back to the real world.

Anyway, that's my recap. I need to go do some homework, but later this week I need to update on my Herceptin appointment from today. I spoke with the doctor and may be making some changes to my treatment plan.