False Alarm?

So, I am confused again. Remeber earlier when I said AF was here? This may be too much information, but I have to write it somewhere. I came home from the gym earlier about 1:00 p.m. and went to the restroom, there was a little bit of brown discharge and a little more when I wiped. I assumed that meant AF was here, so I put in a tampon and forgot about it. Well, I never have "spotting" when AF comes. It just starts, and it's not usually brown it's bright red, so I was thinking about that and the fact that I'm not really crampy like I usually am the day I start. So...I went up and checked my tampon. There was a little on it, but all brown, no red and now when I wipe...nothing. So I put on a pantyliner and will see what develops. I also took my temp, which means nothing this time of day, but it was 98.7 which seems high to me. I'm not really sure what I'm saying, but technically a new cycle doesn't start until the first day of regular flow, spotting doesn't count. Like I said, I've never spotted before AF before, so I'm not really sure what's going on. I guess I'll keep watch for the real stuff and see what my temps do tomorrow? It seems really late for any implantation signs like temp dip or spotting. Hmmm...

Month 4, Day 1

Ok, so not so confused anymore, AF decided to show today. That means I had a 27 day cycle! I don't know if that's every happened. Because of it being so short, I'm thinking that maybe I did actually ovulate on Day 14 instead of 16. That would mean my LP was 13 days this month (or 11?). Anyway, it wasn't 12 or 15 which were my previous numbers. I thought getting AF would make my cycles easier to interpret this month. That would be too easy though. Anyway...

I can honestly say that I'm not that crushed. It happened before I was ready to start testing and I really had prepared myself for a negative.

Positives for this month: 1. Another good month to work on BFL. I lost 5.5 pounds this month, I may be back into my smaller clothes by the end of next month. 2. I didn't take a test! No money wasted. 3. The work situation I was concerned about would be a little better for a pregnancy this month. 4. Baby due no sooner than mid-November, we're getting into less of a "summer" pregnancy. 5. Erica and I still have a shot at doing this together. Our cycles are now 1 day apart.

We'll see what happens this month. I kind of liked not stressing. I'll try to do that again. I'll get pregnant when the time is right. Well, I guess I should schedule my annual exam now. They sent me a card a few weeks ago, but I wanted to wait to call until I knew whether I'd have a pregnancy appointment first. I'm not due for my exam until mid-April, but I'll get my appointment on the calendar and hopefully, they'll turn that one into a pregnancy appointment. I was also thinking, if nothing happens by then, I'll have a lot of good months to take my charts in.

This could be it. They say that even with perfect timing, you only have about a 20% shot of pregnancy in any one cycle. That means that most people will get pregnant within 6 months of trying if they have good timing, etc. I know we had good timing on 2 of the 3 months and ok timing on the other one. Statistically, every month we don't succeed makes it more likely the next month.

Ok, gotta clean the house for our Superbowl party.

Month 3, Day 28 - 12 DPO

Not really sure what to think this morning. My temp plunged down to 97.6, which is still above my coverline, but .4 is a pretty big hit. I took that at my normal time, and then went back to sleep. I woke up for good about 3 hours later and decided to retake just for kicks and at 9:00 a.m. it was up to 98.4, so who knows. I guess I'll see what tomorrow brings. If it's in the same vicinity tomorrow, my guess is that AF will arrive by Monday. Now today I'm feeling a bit crampy, but honestly I'm not sure if it's "cramps" or "other stomach issues." That's as much information as you need. If AF does come, I hope she comes tomorrow, so I'll know that I do "regularly" have a 12 day LP. Ok, stuff to do. I'll update if she decides to arrive today.

Lack of Motivation

Do you ever know you have alot to do, but have no desire to do it? That's kind of how I feel right now. I have 12 people coming to my house on Sunday, so I should probably start cleaning, so I won't have to do it all on Sunday morning, but have I cleaned this evening? No. I at least thought I'd do my meal plans for next week, so I could go to the grocery store in the morning when I'm out at the gym. Have I done that? No. So what have I done this evening? I got home from the gym at 7p.m., then made some dinner and sort of laid around on the couch. Then I got up and cleaned up a little of my mess in the kitchen and tried that dip. Oh yeah, I also wrote all of the receipts in the checkbook. All that and it's already 9:30 p.m. I could start cleaning now, but that seems like a waste. I kind of feel like heading to bed, but it's awfully early for a Friday night.

Month 3, Day 27 - 11 DPO

First of all I want to say I'm sorry for Erica and her BFN this morning. :( It's so disappointing when it looks so promising. Lots of long distance hugs to you! If it helps you kept me from sleeping much too. Everytime it would cross my mind last night my stomach would clench up, then I had a crazy dream this morning. You were here for a GWO and took your test in my guest bathroom. There were clearly too lines and I gave you a big hug and we went out to the guest bedroom to tell Danialle. (That's the normal part of the dream, there was also a weird guy from my office in the dream and for some reason we were all in bath towels, hmm.) It'll happen Erica, don't give up hope.

Not much new to say for me. I had another day of a 98.0 temperature. This month is hard to interpret because my chart is alot different than last month. I'm on the countdown now and will be testing in 5 days, unless AF arrives first. Looks like she won't be coming today, which means either A) I could be pregnant or B) if not pregnant, I didn't ovulate on day 14 with a 12 day LP. I definately don't expect AF tomorrow, but possibly on Sunday if I ovulated day 16 with a 12 day LP.

Month 3, Day 26 - 10 DPO

Six days until I can test. I feel a little weird today. Don't really know how to explain it. I'm sure it's nothing.

One More Thing

Eric told me this morning that last night he had a dream that I was pregnant. That has to be a good sign, right?

Month 3, Day 25 - 9 DPO

I'm getting so anxious for Erica. I got up this morning and couldn't wait to check her blog to see how her temps were doing. I think tomorrow will be the telling day. That is the day AF will be due for her on her "normal" cycles. If the temps are still up, she'll have one more day to wait and then can take that test.

Believe it or not, I haven't been obsessing this month nearly as much as previously. For some reason I'm just assuming I'm not. We made plans to go to a fancy dinner with Will & Samara next weekend, and Samara mentioned that they have great wine, but I wouldn't be able to drink any, and I corrected her and said that I'll know by then, and if not pregnant I'll be in the "safe zone." I'm not even assuming that it worked. Hopefully, that will make it easier if I'm not, and if I am...then I can get excited. My temps aren't as convincing as Erica's, but they are still plenty high and aren't giving me any reason to worry. Seven days until test.

New Link

I've done some re-arranging and have added a new link called "glossary." I added common terms and abbreviations used both in my TTC journey (look it up!) and in my diet, and with the girls. I put it on my own site, so if anyone wants me to add anything let me know and I'll try to keep it up to date.

Month 3, Day 23 - 7 DPO

Just stole Erica's link to her chart and added mine. That is so nice that other people can check and comment. By the way Erica your's looks great! I think that dip on Day 8 could be promising considering it went back up and is still nice and high! 4 more days!

Month 3, Day 21 - 5 DPO

I e-mailed a question on Fertility Friend and they changed the detector on my chart and it now agrees with me on the day 16 ovulation. For some reason that makes me feel better. Earlier today I was thinking about when to expect my period. It could come on 4 different days depending on when I ovulated and how long my lutal phase is. Either this Friday (Day 14 O-day & 12 day LP), next Sunday (Day 16 O-Day & 12 day LP), next Monday (Day 14 O-day & 15 day LP), or next Wednesday (Day 16 O-day & 15 day LP). Because of that variation I'll be waiting to test until next Wednesday (as long as I wake up that day with high temps). My temps are still nice and high right now, and I've seemed really tired, so maybe that's a good sign, but I'm sure it's too early to notice any pregnancy symptoms even if I am. Maybe next weekend I can speculate more on that.

Month 3, Day 19 - 3 DPO

I think there's something about the lutal phase, but I get very down on myself and discouraged. I have no reason to feel negative, but for some reason I feel like quitting. I seem to remember feeling this way last month too. Maybe it's some hormonal thing? Progesterone makes me crazy? Anyway, my temps have been nice and high and it's too early for any signs or symptoms either way, but I just feel blah! I don't know how people do this month after month. I'm pretty confident that this won't take too much longer, but I think after 6 months of charting, 3 more complete months, I'll take a break if I'm not pregnant yet, that seems to be Eric's ideal way to do it. Sure I say that, then I'd be a mess not knowing when i ovulated or if I was "late". I know not knowing exactly when it happened made me crazy last time I was pregnant. Ok, so I'll keep charting. It's just going to be a long 13 days.

Month 3, Day 18 - 2 DPO

Still not sure about O-day, but I'm calling it Monday. Today's temp was way up at 98.0, but I'm going to count all of the other indicators and call it Monday. So now the waiting begins. At least Erica's results will be in before mine, so I have another day to look forward to first. I hope the next 2 weeks go fast. I'm not planning on testing until 2/4. That would be 16 days past ovulation if Monday was the day. My longest lutal phase was 15 days, so that should be safe.

Let's just focus on the diet and exercise until then. I've lost 3 1/2 pounds in the last 2 1/2 weeks, so that's good. I'll just keep that up.

Month 3, Day 17

So I'm a little confused. I'm pretty sure I ovulated, but I'm not sure what day. My temp was 97.4 this morning and all of my CM has dried up. I also had some pains in my lower regions yesterday afternoon/evening that are not there today, that could have been ovulation pains. My temps however, suggest that Saturday may have been the day. I'm not sure how much weight to give that though, since I had some wine throughout the evening on Saturday.

Regardless, I'm pretty sure that ovulation has occurred and now I just need to wait to see if it worked. I'm hoping O-day was Monday rather than Saturday, because of our timing with "trying", but Saturday may give us a good shot too.

Erica sent me an e-mail about her huge temp rise this morning (5 DPO). I think that looks like a really good sign. I'll be curious to see what this month brings her. Hopefully a positive HPT and no AF.

Month 3, Day 16

We're getting to the important time of the month now. Last month I ovulated on Day 16, so I'm thinking this could be the day. Despite GWO, we've done a good job on the window, so if I see a spike tomorrow, I'll feel pretty good. We'll probably try again tonight to feel a little more confident. We got great news for Erica as her temperatures over the weekend confirmed that she did in fact ovulate this month, and thankfully, it happened before she left for our weekend. Looks like they may have had good timing too, so we'll keep our fingers crossed. Hopefully there will be at least one positive pregnancy test this month.

I don't really feel that stressed this month. I'm not taking it for granted now. I think before I kind of assumed that it would happen really fast for me, since last time it did. Then last month, I thought we timed everything perfectly, so this month, I'm going to try to relax and just see what happens. I'm serious about the diet and exercise now, so that's where I've been trying to put most of my focus. We'll see what happens. We've only got about 10 days to wait for Erica to test.

GWO III

Wow, what a weekend. Today ends the 3rd GWO. We of course had a great time. Everyone got in safely on Friday and we spent the evening catching up on all the gossip. Saturday we had our "free day" breakfast at First Watch and it was heavenly. Erica and Danialle are also on the BFL diet thing so we were definately looking forward to Saturday. After breakfast we found a scrapbook store that we browsed for a while. Then we headed over to pick up Samara and go to the mall at Easton. It was a really icky day, so we did most of our shopping indoors, but it was still a good time to see the girls. Then the highlight of the evening was our dinner at the Melting Pot. For anyone who hasn't had fondue, you're missing out. All of us ladies certainly made it interesting as we sat and ate for 3 1/2 hours. Our waiter didn't seem to be especially happy with his job, but Heather made it more interesting for him, by getting his number at the end of the evening. Sunday, Heather headed for home, but the rest of us decided not to shower or do hair or makeup and went to browse at Babies R Us. That definately got at least 2 of us in baby mode. Hopefully soon we'll be able to shop there. After shopping we went back to the house saw the final sad moments of the Colts game and then played some dominoes. Dominoes lasted well into the evening and then Danialle and I ended the evening with some insightful discussion while waiting on Eric to decide he was ready for bed.

Monday morning we made quick breakfast and the rest of the girls left. Ahh, good times and only 3 more months until we can do it again.

Month 3, Day 9

It's been a while since I posted. I guess I was so into my dieting that keeping that blog updated has been enough to keep me busy. I had a not so relaxing weekend, so I'm looking forward to my days off this week and my upcoming Girl's Weekend Out. Eric has decided to redo the basement, which I think is a good idea, considering the decor when we moved in was a baseball theme and he's been hanging all his Colt's items, which is football. I finally agreed to his idea on painting the color to the Colt's blue, but we will also be adding a grey ragging technique on top. Anyway, to get the process started we have to take down the wallpaper. Not fun. Eric had football to watch this weekend, so I spent most of it in the basement stripping wallpaper. It's a slow process. He came down to help last night from 8:30 to 11, but we still aren't done. I'm hoping we can finish getting the paper down tonight and paint tomorrow, so I can clean, work on my scrapbook and actually relax on my days off Thursday and Friday.

Really looking forward to my Girls Weekend. I miss everyone even though we e-mail daily. I am also looking forward to my girls meeting Samara, since she's my best friend here in town. Hopefully everyone will get along and like each other and it will be tons of fun.

I think according to my past cycles, I'll probably start "trying" around Wednesday of this week. That's using my earliest O-day (16) and the 5-day rule for sperm survival. I'm not sure how the GWO will affect it. That will probably be the best timing considering either a day 16 or 19 O-day. We've said we will still try, but I'm not so sure, as I mentioned before, this wouldn't be a bad month to not get pregnant, so maybe we won't try that hard. I don't know, we'll see.

Month 3, Day 5

I've been doing all my posting in my Fitness blog this week. Not much to talk about on the baby front. My temps have been really low this month so far. I wonder if they are getting back to "normal." It's quite possible it is taking my body a little while to get on a "normal" cycle because I was on the pill, then pregnant, and now not. That's ok. I'm not really as pumped about trying this month. I think last month was just a real bummer. I've actually started thinking about if I get pregnant this month my due date would be in mid-October, then I would be back from maternity leave in mid-December. November to January are my absolute busiest months at work, so I'd be coming back to work right in the thick of it. I guess we'll see what happens. I'm certainly not delaying my trying to work around my work schedule.

Month 3, Day 1

Yes, that's right. AF found me bright and early this morning. I took my temp and saw a 97.4 and knew this wait was over. Sure enough when I got out of bed and into the restroom, AF had arrived. I'm sad.

Ok, let's look for the positives this month.
1. At least AF came in the morning, so I was prepared for the day at the Colts game. (That was completely awesome by the way).
2. Since the Colt's game was today I was busy all day and didn't really have time to mope.
3. Another month of charting gives me some history and I know I ovulated.
4. Another cycle of exactly 31 days.
5. Baby won't be due until at least October (a little cooler?).
6. At least one full month of dieting with weight loss goals is possible.

I think I'm out. Here are the negatives I can't quite put away.
1. I really want a baby.
2. What the heck kind of history do I have with a 12 day and 15 day lutal phase? Isn't only supposed to vary by 1 day?
3. I really want a baby.
4. I wasted money on 3 pregnancy tests.
5. I really want a baby.
6. I'm driving my husband crazy.
7. I really want a baby.
8. I have to wait another MONTH?!
9. I really wanted my first baby.

Well, my new chart starts today and we'll see what 2004 brings us. At least I enjoy charting, but I hope I don't have to wait much longer. If I hadn't lost my baby, I would be 26 weeks pregnant or towards the end of my 6th month. I really want to be pregnant and have been to the doctor and know everything's ok before my first due date gets here. If there isn't another baby on the way, that will be a very sad day for me.

Ok, I should head to bed. Tomorrow starts my 2004 dieting resolution. I have my meals packed already, but I will have to go to the gym, so I should get my sleep.

Month 2, Day 31, 15 DPO

I thought I'd update tonight since I may not get a chance tomorrow. Still nothing today, but I'm for some reason feeling discouraged. I've felt slightly crampy. Nothing major and it could just be gas, but I keep running to the restroom to check. I think I'd feel better if my temps would have stayed up at the 98.3 range.

Tomorrow Eric and I are traveling back to Indy to go to the Colts playoff game. I'm excited it should be really fun. Hopefully it will take my mind off of things for a day. I'll probably throw a tampon in my purse just in case, but hopefully I'll make it through another day with no AF.

If AF does come, I'll be really confused about my cycles. I didn't think you could have this much variation in the lutal phase. Hopefully, it's not a variation and I'm just pregnant. Not knowing either way for sure is killing me. Sigh...I suppose I'll know soon enough.

Month 2, Day 31, 15 DPO

So far so good. Another day without a visitor. This morning my temp was again 97.9, so while I wish I was still back up in the 98's I'm still above coverline and no change from yesterday. Let's cross our fingers that today, like yesterday, brings no visitors.

Yesterday I really felt nauseous all day long. I also had a headache for most of the afternoon. Eric and I went to Steak and Shake for dinner, but I couldn't even eat my sandwich. Not sure what that means, but I'll take what I can get.

I lied. I couldn't wait until Monday so I took another test. Still negative. So that's three this month. I bought some more yesterday, but now I really will wait until Monday. Stupid tests.

Month 2, Day 30, 14 DPO

Well, AF didn't come yesterday. Yeah! This morning my temp was 97.9 at at 6:15 a.m. I usually temp at 7:00 a.m. but Eric had to get up early for work and I really had to use the restroom so I did it early. It's a lower temp than I wanted to see, but 97.7 is my coverline, so I'm still above it. So I took another test. Still negative. I'm a little bummed, but I'm not giving up hope until AF comes.

So today I will hope that I have no visitor, which could be a good possibility since my temps didn't plunge yet. As you may remember from a previous post. I figured out that if your lutal phase only varies about a day on either side, the longest lutal phase I could have is 14 days. (If 13 is my normal and last month it was short when it was 12 days, 14 would be my long cycle). If that's the case, AF could come tomorrow. So if I make it through today and tomorrow with no visitor, I'll be about 90% sure that I am in fact pregnant and these stupid pregnancy tests are really wrong. In order to save some cash, I've decided to wait on my next test until Monday morning. Monday I would be 17 DPO and personally about 98% sure I am pregnant.

Today my plans include finishing my major house cleaning project I started yesterday. I still have to do the 2 upstairs bathrooms, my bedroom, and the basement. I also have another list of various projects to work on, so I'll try to get to most of those. At 2:00 p.m. I have a dentist appointment. I think I'll tell them not to X-ray just in case, but I really wish I was positive.

Ok, time for breakfast.

New Years

I hope you all had a happy New Year's. Ours was pretty good. We went over to our best friend's Will and Samara's. Samara and I started cooking some cheese fondue to snack on while we made a "fancy" dinner. The fondue was awesome, now I'm really looking forward to our girl's weekend when we are actually going to a fondue restaurant. Then we made the meal. Samara made a Salmon dish for her and Will, but since Eric and I aren't big fish fans we made Chicken Cordon Bleu for us. We also had a pesto angelhair pasta and salad. For desert we had cream puffs with carmel, chocolate, and powdered sugar. It was really pretty because Samara used her china for us, and focused a whole lot on presentation of the meal.

After we ate (about 10:30 p.m.) we broke out the new DVD trivial pursuit pop culture game Eric and I got for Christmas. We played boys vs. girls and had a very close game, but the boys ended up winning the final question. We played until about 1:30 p.m., but took a break to watch the ball drop and have that first New Year's kiss. It was nice.

So the new year is hear and I think I need some goals. Here they are.
1. Get back in shape - I know this is cliche but I really don't like what's happened to my body in the last 6 months. This goal will apply regardless of how soon I get pregnant. I'm preparing the diet/exercise plan today and maybe even starting tomorrow, if I can get rid of some candy. Monday will be the absolute latest I start.
2. Go back to church. I've neglected my spiritual life for a while. I need to get back into a church family and get active. I always like it when I'm involved, but then life seems to get in the way. I definately think growing up going to church and with spiritual parents made me a better person and I want to give my children that chance as well.
3. Work on my Scrapbook. I still haven't started my GWO scrapbook and now I need to do the journaling in the one my Mom gave me. Also I have the new journal chest that I need to get started on.

That seems pretty good for now. Happy New Year's everyone!

Month 2, Day 29, 13 DPO

I should have wrote yesterday, but I never got a chance. Here's what was going on at day 12 DPO. I woke up early (too excited to sleep) and took my temp. 40 minutes early than normal it was still at a beautiful 98.3. So I went to the bathroom and took a pregnancy test. It was negative. Despite the result, I wasn't that down. Here's why.

I compared my chart from last month to the one from this month and have noticed some very interesting and, I think, important differences. My temps in general are lower this month, but my pre-ovulatory pattern looks really similar to last month. Then post ovulation both charts temps go up and sort of spike at around 5 DPO. Then the changes happen. Last month after 5 DPO, the temps headed back down and hovered right around the coverline for the next 7 days. They didn't drop below coverline until 11 DPO and then they stayed below until AF started on 13 DPO. This month my temps started dropping on 6 DPO again, and then actually dipped below coverline on 7 DPO. Then on day 8, they went back up to where the 5 DPO spike was and have stayed well above coverline since. My hopeful interpretation is that my egg implanted on 7 DPO and my temps went back up to keep my uterus "warm" for the egg to grow.

I've had some other symptoms that could either be pregnancy or other things like stress, PMS, etc. Like I was really tired all day yesterday (12 DPO) and I've been a little moody and I have breast tenderness. In itself, that's not enough to say I'm pregnant, but with my new temp pattern, I'm hopeful.

I also did some reasearch and think that your HCG levels are rarely high enough to be picked up in a HPT until about 14 DPO. So even if I am pregnant, it may just be too early to detect.

Ok, so that was yesterday. I woke up and took my temp this morning and it was 98.0. I was hoping for another high like the last two days, but 98.0 is still above my coverline of 97.7, so I guess I'm ok with that. Today I just have to wait around and hope AF doesn't come. Today is the day it is due. If AF doesn't come and my temp is still above the coverline tomorrow, I will test again. Aaah, waiting, aint it fun?