Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Do You Want To See Pictures?

I'm not using last names so I figure I can post the baby pictures. He's so cute and tiny. And I barely thought about the fact that my baby was supposed to be born first (really). I suppose it helps that my "due date" isn't for another 3 weeks. (Malachi was born 4 weeks early). Anyway, Kim looked great today and was up and about and Malachi was so perfect. He was in the NicU on an IV for low blood sugar, but they think they can both go home on Friday.

Ok, time for bed.

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

It's A Boy!

Kim from my office had her baby today!

His name is Malachi and he was born at 4:00 p.m. via C-Section. He weighs 4 pounds and 7 ounces. I'll get to go visit tomorrow!

Kim wasn't scheduled for her C-Section until 4/21, but at her doctor's appointment today they thought that her amniotic fluid might be getting low, so they went ahead and did it. She was at about 36 weeks pregnant.

Congrats to Kim and baby Malachi!

Personality Tests

Heather sent us a cool link for Personality Tests, so I thought I'd post my results. I think it's pretty accurate.

ACCOUNTANT
(Submissive Introvert Concrete Thinker )

Jennifer
Like just 7% of the population you are an ACCOUNTANT (SICT)--reserved, meticulous, and dependable. While being called an accountant isn't really that cool, neither are you. You aren't exactly the life of the party, but you do have fun, and the people close to you really do love you.

There are basically two kinds of accountants, and you most likely fit into one of the two categories:
male
female

Seriously: accountants are good at whatever they do. They can always be trusted, especially by their friends. They almost never cheat or steal. (Some real-life accountants do, however, they are probably Judges (DICT)). You probably have a wonderful relationship with your family.

Sunday, March 28, 2004

Month 5, Day 20 & Weekend Recap

This was such a wonderful weekend. I think the Spring weather is really helping my mood, although I didn't spend much time outside.

Friday after work I had to go to the gym because I didn't get up early. Then I came home made dinner and pretty muched vegged out on the couch. I went to bed at about 11 p.m.

Saturday I got up at about 9:00 a.m. and did my domestic duties. I did all the laundry and cleaned the house. Saturday night we had plans to go out to dinner with a woman Eric works with and her husband (who he plays paintball with) for the husband's birthday. We went to dinner at 7 at House of Japan. It was my first experience at a Japanese steakhouse (although it is on the agenda for the upcoming GWO) and I'm looking forward to it with my girls. After dinner we went back to Mike and Brandy's house and they had a bit of a party going on. There were about 15 people and some people were playing cards, there was lots of good music and one girl even brought over her Karioke equimpent (don't worry, I didn't sing). At about 11:30 p.m. we all left and headed to Rackum's a sports bar that has a dance floor and plays hip hop/rap music. It was so much fun because I got to dance. I never thought I was much good at it, but I love to dance and as I've gotten older care a whole lot less about whether I "look good" doing it. Eric has some moves too, so it was fun. Bizarre as it was, another guy Eric plays paintball with got ditched by his wife earlier in the evening (she took off with some girl friends to go to some other bar). Anyway, this guy asked Eric if he could dance with me. I guess he was bored and just wanted to dance. So, I danced with him and while we were out there, some drunk guys were checking me out and this guy got all protective. It's kind of nice to be admired, but in the end I'm glad I'm there with Eric. He is so cool about it. He totally trusts me in any situation and doesn't get jealous when other guys think I'm attractive too. We stayed until about 1:30 a.m. and then headed home.

Sunday, we got up for church and enjoyed it as always. I think we may have found us a permanent place. We've even started tithing every week (still not the 10% rule, but we're giving something). After church, we came home, I made my meal plans for next week and watched a little Nascar with Eric. Then I took a nap with the windows open and the sping breeze. It was heavenly. The rest of the afternoon, I went grocery shopping and then get ready to fall out of your chairs... I worked on my GWO scrapbook. I just got the invitation for GWO IV and it said to bring, "completed" scrapbooks. I think that comment was aimed at me, so I'm going to have it done. I did the pages for the first 2 and now just have the most recent one to complete. I need to print off some pictures first.

I still have a lot to do this week, and I'm leaving Thursday afternoon for Iowa to visit my parents, but am hoping this will be a productive week. Oh yeah, I also managed to pull off a perfect week of dieting and missing no workouts (You can read more about that in My Fitness Blog.

So, here's where I'm at as far as ovulation goes. I'm 99% sure it's happened. Since I'm not temping, I'm not exactly sure when, but my guess is either Thursday, Friday or Saturday, most likely Friday. I've been watching my CM and Thursday was my last day of fertile CM (we took advantage too, so we'll see how that works). TCOYF says that ovulation usually occurs the day of or the day after your Peak Day (the last day of fertile quality cervical fluid). That would be either Thursday or Friday. Today is the first day I have sore breasts. Last month the BT (Breast Tenderness) started the day after I ovulated. The month before, it started the day of. It's possible they were a little sore yesterday, but I didn't know if I was imagining it, today there is no question. Using the 2 indicators, I estimate Friday. I suppose it isn't all that important, but that would put AF due between 4/7 and 4/9. I was planning on testing on 4/9, I think I'll still keep to that. It'll be Good Friday and that would be a Good Friday. Good thing I have a trip to a Day Spa and a visit to my parents to keep me busy until then.

Saturday, March 27, 2004

The Story of GWO

This is the story of the grand tradition between my best friends of a quarterly Girls Weekend Out (GWO). Here's how it came about....

Once upon a time, two little girls were born as cousins and grew up together in the same small town (although they went to different schools). We'll call them Erica and Danialle. They were as close as cousins can be. The younger of the cousins, Erica went to the same high school as a girl called Jennifer. Erica and Jennifer became friends through a series of common interests including playing on the high school softball team and having the same after-school job at Wal-Mart. Growing up in the same town and being friends with Erica, Jennifer on occasion had met Danialle, but didn't know her well enough to consider her a friend. After high school, as often happens, people go their separate ways and grow apart, although strangly enough Erica and Jennifer became closer friends and made a point to keep in touch through e-mail, phone calls, and the occasional get together, usually around their birthdays (Erica and Jennifer are only 9 days apart in age).

Jennifer went away to college and made some new friends. One of these friends was Heather. They were in the same major, in many of the same extra-curricular activities, and became very close. Heather was always there to listen when Jennifer had problems (and Jennifer would return the favor), and Heather even introduced Jennifer to the man she would eventually marry. As the college years were winding down, Jennifer decided to get married. Two of her bridesmaids were Erica, her highschool friend, and Heather, her college friend. Through the wedding Heather and Erica met and very quickly became friends with each other (independent of their joint friendship with Jennifer).

After college, Jennifer moved to a new state, however, still kept in touch with both Heather and Erica. About a year later, Erica met the man of her dreams and decided she would get married too. Two of her bridesmaids were Danialle, her favorite cousin, and Jennifer, her highschool friend. As bridesmaids, there are many important responsibilities including planning the bachelorette party. Through making these plans, Danialle and Jennifer spent many hours of e-mails and plan-making and became great friends independantly of their friendship with Erica. Then at the Bachelorette party, Heather was invited and met Danialle. They also instantly hit it off and there were these four girls who had an amazing time together and luckily realized how special this could be.

After the bachelorette party the girls wanted a way to be sure that this friendship would never be lost. Seeing each other in person is an important part of the equation. So they decided to get together every 3 months or so in a different host city to reconnect and have "girl time" a Girls Weekend Out. GWO would go on regardless of changes in marital status, children being born, etc.

The first of these GWO excursions was in Chicago, Danialle's city. It was a huge success and the next GWO was immediately planned. GWO II was in Terre Haute, Indiana and was equally as successful.

GWO III was in Columbus, OH, Jennifer's city and brought the newest addition to the GWO group. When Jennifer moved to Columbus, she was fortunate enough in the first 6 months or so, to meet a person who was to be her best friend. Being in a city away from your friends and family is difficult, but Samara made it ok, as she now had a person locally to laugh and cry with. Fortunately their husbands got along too, so it was perfect. Samara joined the group in Columbus, and Erica, Danialle, and Heather couldn't help but love her too.

So now our GWO group sits at 5 members (although, I don't think we'll ever permantently close the door to new members) and GWO IV is just a few very short weeks away, in Lafayette, Indiana, Erica's city.

What is so great about this group, this tradition, is unconditional love. I love when we get together and immensely look forward to every trip that is coming up. It isn't about shopping or partying, or being without guys, although we do all of those things. It's about being together. We can look past each other's imperfections and offer support and therapy for each other's souls. It doesn't matter to us if your thigh's jiggle (or look like a supermodel's). We don't care if you are "on" or "off" your diet. We don't care if you are PMSing or if everything is going perfect. We are there for each other.

This group has already been through a lot together. We met through a wedding. Four of us are married and one is single. Two of us are in the process of trying for children (although it's taking both longer than expected). One is in school working on a master's degree (while working a full time job, teaching). One of us has had plastic surgery (hence the supermodel leg reference). One of us has had a miscarriage. One of us had to watch her baby sister get pregnant and have a miscarriage while trying for a baby of her own. One of us has had to deal with her sister being addicted to Heroin and being in a rehab facility for a year. One of us had to watch her brother go to Iraq while he left a pregnant wife at home to give birth without him. One of us has lost several extended family members this year. But through it all, we've stayed friends and have always got each other.

I feel blessed and priviledged to know and be able to call each of them friends.

We're working on a motto, "Through rain or snow, married or single, near or far, children or lack of, tears or laughter, miscarriages, surgeries, depression, death of loved ones, births, new homes, and new careers...we will be friends. Forever, GWO will go on." Maybe it still needs some work, but the point is. I love my friends and hope we we all be friends forever.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Month 5, Day 17

Just did a sneak peek at my temperature (in the evening, after a workout). It was 97.5, so I'm pretty sure I haven't O'd yet. Don't know if that's good or bad, but at least I know.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

(Not my) Baby Update

Last Friday we had Kim's shower from work and Monday she was supposed to find out when her C-section would be scheduled. Well, apparently the doctor's think work is too stressful, so she's off work until the baby's born. Now I have to find a way to get my cross-stich back. Also, they scheduled her C-section for 4/21. I bet I'll get to go visit that afternoon or the next day. We're good about that around here.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Month 5, Day 15

Did my renewal presentation today and think it went pretty well. I even got to do most of the talking and both Pete, my boss, and the Client Executive said I did a good job explaining all of the coverages. I'm hoping that I'll stop getting daily headaches now for a while. It's been a rough two weeks.

I know I said I'm not charting (and I haven't been temping), but now that I'm "educated" there are certain signals I notice about my body and one is CM. I have tons of the good kind today, so I think it may be getting close. Hopefully, we'll take advantage tonight. We were going to last night, but I had a killer migraine, and it's been a couple days, so tonight wouldn't be out of our ordinary schedule. Eric is working late though, so it'll just depend on his mood when he gets home. I don't want to push the issue.

I also feel like I'm doing pretty good on BFL, I am heading to my Fitness blog to update there for now.

Monday, March 22, 2004

Month 5, Day 14

Thought I'd do a quick recap of the weekend before I leave for work.

Friday - Just hung out.
Saturday - Re-read Body for Life book, set some goals, printed out 84 days worth of food and exercise plans, planned my first week of meals
Sunday - Went to church in the AM, had lunch at Steak & Shake, bought a new Mini-disk player (so Eric and I don't fight over his), did the grocery shopping, recorded some tunes for workout onto the Mini-disks, took before pictures, dinner at April & Martins

Doesn't soundlike a lot, but I feel productive. I'm re-starting BFL and I mean it. I even went to the gym at 6:30 this morning.

I also wanted to say "I'm sorry" to Erica. Looks like Month 8 is a bust for her. Maybe you'll get some good info out of your tests last week and this week and I would maybe consider quitting charting for a month or two. It's been good for me.

About charting, I'm having an internal debate on what to do next month. The Pros of Charting: 1. I'll know exactly where I am in my cycle and have more data to take to the Doctor for my April 30th appointment. The Pros of Not Charting: 1. I'm made a spiritual decision to leave this in God's hands for his timing. It's much easier for me not to "obsess" and just wait if I'm not really tracking everything. 2. I think I can focus on BFL a whole lot better if I'm not taking up so much time analyzing my charts. I'm really leaning towards not charting, but just wonder if it's more valuable to have info for the doctor. Maybe I'll just chart next month and then see what she says and stop again? I don't know.

Ok, better leave for work or I'll be late.

Friday, March 19, 2004

The What If Game...

So I'm looking for something to pass the time at work (like I have nothing to do, but hey, it's Friday). Here's what I came up with.

What if Erica is pregnant?
- Her due date would be December 2, 2004
- She would be approximately 8 weeks pregnant at GWO IV
- Her first doctor's appointment would be around May 6, 2004
- She would be 20 weeks on July 17th. 20 weeks is about the time you learn the sex of the baby, so she could know before GWO V in July what the sex is.
- She would be 33 weeks on October 14th, 2004. Good thing October is in Indiana because at that stage you should start staying closer to home.
- The baby would be about 8 weeks old at the end of January. GWO VII in Columbus could be moved to February and we could discuss bringing baby along.

What if I get pregnant this month?
- Due date would be December 14, 2004 - based on LMP, but with my cycles probably more like 12/16-12/19 (can you say Christmas baby?)
- I would be approximately 6 weeks at GWO IV
- First doctor's appointment would be around May 18, 2004
- Would be 20 weeks on 7/27 - My doctor doesn't do ultrasounds around then, so I could possibly go and have one done at around 18 weeks in time to find out before GWO V
- Would be 31 weeks on October 12th. Still enough time to travel to Indiana for GWO VI !
- Baby would be 6 weeks at end of January. Jen still on maternity leave to host GWO VII?

What if I get pregnant next month?
- Assume AF arrives on 4/9/04.
- Due date would be approximately 1/14/05
- Would be ovulating immediately following GWO IV.
- First doctor's appoinment 6/18
- Approximately 14 weeks at July GWO V. That's enough to start showing!
- 20 weeks at 8/27/04.
- Late January/ Early February GWO would have very small baby 2-4 weeks. Erica could bring hers! GWO in early January could put me into labor!

Friday Five

If you...

1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?
Probably an american bar & grill (something like Applebees, Friday's, Champps). Eric's always said he would like to own a pub in retirement years, but I'm not especially fond of pubs.

2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell?
I always wanted to do wedding planning, but that isn't really merchandise. Probably books.

3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be?
I could see me writing a romance novel or a kind of day in the life book (like print my blog)

4. ...ran a school, what would you teach?
Math. Algebra, Geometry, Accounting, Calculus, etc. Anything with numbers. I'm better at explaning certainties than more abstract subjects.

5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it?
That's a tough one. I'm not really musically inclined. It's probably be a "Worst of" album. I don't sing well. - Definately wouldn't be country.

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Month 5 - Day 8

I don't really have much to update about, but felt like writing anyway. I just finished watching American Idol. It's weird, I watch every episode, but never vote. What else is going on? I've been having my headaches. One yesterday and today that needed my Imitrex. Over the last 5 months that I've been paying attention to my cycles I've learned a pattern to my headaches. I usually get about 2 that need medication the week after my period. Usually between CD5-9. Luckily, that is a "safe" time to medicate, since my regular doctor told me not to take Imitrex while trying to get pregnant as it's not in the "safe" category. I won't take it after ovulation. Here's my delima. My prescription is out of refills and I only have 1 more pill left. I saw my regular doctor in July and he didn't give me any more refills because I told him I was trying to get pregnant. I'm debating on whether I need to schedule another appointment and see if I can convince him to give me a refill if I promise not to take it when I could be pregnant. The downside to that is I already have my annual OB/GYN appointment at the end of April and I'm not sure if it will look weird to have 2 doctors appointments in a month (to work people). Also, I really despise my doctor. I guess this would be a good time to look into switching my primary physician, but wonder if that would be weird to go to a new doctor to try to get drugs. I will probably just suck it up and go see the doctor I hate, get my refill, and then switch doctors.

Not much else to say. Not charting seems to leave me with a lack of things to discuss babywise. I'm really looking at this as a month off of trying, although it will be interesting to see if Eric trys to time things. Kim from my office has her shower on Friday. I'm looking forward to that, although I still need to go by a frame for the baby thing I cross-stiched for her.

One more thing. I don't think I mentioned this before, but about two weeks ago, I found out another woman in my office is pregnant. I feel bad admitting it, but when I heard, I was insanely jealous. Here's the story. She didn't know she was pregnant at the time, but ended up going to the hospital and having emergency surgery for an etopic pregnancy the day I had my D&C. It was kind of strange that two pregnancies ended the same day in our office. I don't really know this woman, we just say hello in passing, etc. About two weeks ago I overheard her tell someone that she was 12 weeks along. She must have gotten pregnant again pretty quickly. I'm not sure why it made me feel so bad. She had a bad time of it too, and definately deserves a healthy happy pregnancy. Her getting pregnant in no way affects my ability to do the same, but I guess it just was hard to see someone who had a pregnancy end the same time as me get her happy ending (or beginning) first. It really made me feel horrible that my first feeling was a negative one. I certainly would want people to be happy for me when I get pregnant again. I am happy for her now, it just makes me feel a little sad at the same time. Today was the first day she wore maternity clothes. Why is that harder for me to deal with than planning the shower at work for the baby that is due a week after mine should have been? I guess the pain comes back in unexpected ways.

Another thing, an intern in my office stopped by my cube to chat today. She's really sweet. She's 22 a college senior, etc. She of course knew about the first pregnancy, etc. Today she asked me how everything was going in the baby department. I said no luck yet, and she asked if I was trying. I said yes. She asked why it was taking so long. Good question. (That's one way to know she's still just a kid, most people wouldn't think to ask someone they knew was trying to get pregnant why it's taking so long.) Obviously, we're trying, but I think I need to accept that the time must not be right. I wouldn't wish a loss on anyone, but the waiting this time is certainly helping me keep things in perspective. Being a parent is serious business, and honestly the idea still terrifies me at times. I thought I was ready again immediately, but every month that goes by makes me realize how special it really is. When the time is right, I will cherish every moment. I hope I don't have to wait that much longer, but have faith that God knows when the right time for me is. That's why all the charting and timing and planning haven't worked yet. I can't say when the time is right, I just have to have faith, that someday it will be.

Well, that's enough for now considering I had nothing to write about when I started. Whew. I'm getting a little mushy.

Sunday, March 14, 2004

Month 5 - Day 6

It's not been a very productive time off although I have almost conquered Tetris Worlds. I also read The Hobbit, cleaned my house, did laundry including the sheets, and listened to 2 new CDs. I was pretty caught up at work on Wednesday, so it will be interesting to see how far behind I am tomorrow. I have one of my clients renewals at the end of the month and I left a quote deadline of Friday, so hopefully I have some numbers waiting patiently in my inbox at work and can put together a proposal tomorrow.

Things to do this week on a personal level. Check in with my friend H. who was having surgery at the end of last week. Check in with Erica to see if they started the semen analysis and her tests start this Friday. Also, I need to check in with Samara since we didn't talk at all last week. My brother stayed this week and I kind of stayed holed up and oblivious to the outside world. I also need to seriously put some work into studying for my CPCU, that test will sneak up on me before I know it. I'd like to work on the GWO scrapbook. Tuesday night I get to go shopping for Kim's shower (work friend) with the office money contribution. Wednesday, we're moving Survivor night due to the NCAA tournament. This could be a busy week. Oh yes, must also conquer Tetris Worlds. I hear it calling me now... (At least I'm playing games rather than reading trying to conceive blogs. I actually had to look at a calendar to see what cycle day I'm on.)

Friday, March 12, 2004

Friday Five

1. What was the last song you heard? - Not sure, probably the Tetris background music.

2. What were the last two movies you saw? The Passion of the Christ (today), probably Out of Time a couple of weeks ago.

3. What were the last three things you purchased? Tetris Worlds, a new iron, Lord of the Rings books (Thanks Mom! - My B-Day gift certificate).

4. What four things do you need to do this weekend? Study for CPCU, wash the sheets, pay some bills, go to the Arena Football game

5. Who are the last five people you talked to? Eric, Jeremy (my brother), Guy at the Magic Shop, thinking.....Martin and April (last night)


Month 5 - CD 4

I've been on vacation for 2 days and it's been great. Been kind of lazy which is nice and did some shopping yesterday that's been keeping me busy. I bought Tetris Worlds for the computer and it's been taking up a lot of time. I also figured I might eventually need to read the Lord of the Rings books. I do enjoy reading and know that books are better than movies, so figure since I enjoyed the movies, I better get the real story and read the books. I bought The Hobbit for $10.50 and the Lord of the Rings Trilogy in one volume for $18.00 at Target. I'm about half way through The Hobbit. It's better than I remember. I remember trying to read it when I was about 10 and just got bored.

Today we went to the 12:45 p.m. showing of The Passion of the Christ. I'd read some reviews and heard from friends who'd seen it and honestly was a little disappointed. I think it was an excellent movie for showing the suffering of Christ and really gets to you to think of what a sacrifice dying for us really was, but I don't think that the movie will really touch many non-believers. Except for a few flashbacks of things that happened in his life (a couple of sermons, the last supper, etc.) most of the movie just focused on his arrest, trial, and death. I don't think the movie did a great job of showing "why" did he have to die for us. Also, there was only one seen of "ressurrection" which is really the biggest miracle of all. Anybody could die, but the fact that he rose again is the real miracle. Anyway, I'm glad I saw it and thought the part of the story that was told was good, but felt it would have been a better "message" if it ventured more into why he had to die, his teachings, and what happened after he rose from the dead.

On a completely different note, I've kind of enjoyed not taking my temperature the last few days. Partially because I've been sleeping in and don't have to wake up at 6:00 to take my temperature. I suppose it's also easier since I know it's too early for anything to happen. Not sure how I'll do in the next couple of weeks.

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Month 5, Day 2 - Irritable

I'm not very fun to be around right now. I feel a little sorry for the guys in my house today (my brother's in town for his Spring Break). For no real reason, I got angry the moment I came home from work. The guys were on the couch watching a movie and I had to clean up the kitchen and make dinner. I think it was the fact that I had to work all day and then still do my normal household chores while they slept until noon and played video games and watched movies. I know it's irrational. Eric's on vacation and Jeremy's on Spring Break. I don't really like Eric to do the housework and it wasn't like they'd trashed the place. I just had to unload the dishwasher and put the rest of last night's dinner dishes in and get out the hamburger for dinner. What did I expect?

It's just frustrating when you completely know your being hormonal and irrational, but still just want to scream at someone for not knowing that you would want to order Pizza rather than make dinner when you asked what they wanted to eat. It's crazy that you know your being crazy, but are powerless to calm your emotions. Eric figured it out though when I started hitting on him. Apparently that's my other signal that AF is here.

Oh well, it'll pass and hopefully, sooner rather than later, I can get rid of these symptoms for a while. Although, I'm not sure that pregnancy hormones are any better. At least then you get something good out of it.

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

Month 5, Day 1

She's here! Time to hide my thermometer.

And Erica, Happy Birthday!

Monday, March 08, 2004

A Strategy is Born

I think I'm becoming a post-aholic. This is number 3 for today. Oh well, I enjoy reading my friends, so I'm assuming my readers prefer more updates to less.

AF has still not arrived, but I have been having minor cramps. Nothing worthy of any ibuprofin or other pain relief, but still enough to make me believe that there was a reason my temps dropped. Now if AF doesn't arrive over night or immediately upon awakening, I think I will use up one of my tests, just to erase the last shred of hope for this month.

Now, about my title. I've decided how to approach next month. Several people have mentioned to me that they think all of my charting, etc. has caused me stress, and maybe I should just "relax." My husband included. Personally, I still don't agree that I'm more stressed. I will say I'm more aware and educated about my body. Also, from everything I've read, the only role stress plays on your cycle is possibly delaying ovulation and by my charts I'm obviously ovulating, so I don't think not "relaxing" is the issue here. However, we weren't charting last time we got pregnant, and somehow hit the window. I'm going to take this month off from the obsessive need to monitor every signal and just see what happens. Of course, if this is the month that works, everyone will probably say "I told you so!" I guess I'll just have to remember that if there is a 20-25% chance of conceiving in any one cycle (assuming no fertility problems), we've got a decent shot at getting it done in 5 months, regardless of my charting or not. And if we get pregnant, we met the goal right? (At least the first part, the final goal is actually giving birth to a healthy baby). Who really cares what method got us there.

I was going to keep charting until I see my OB/GYN for my annual exam at the end of April, but figure, I've got 4 complete months already, if #5 doesn't work, I'll at least know how long the cycle was, and can start charting #6 before my appointment. 4 1/2 charts should be enough for her to work with or at least say, "Yep, your doing it right. Keep trying."

Here's the actual strategy. I will on my calendar, keep track of my LMP date (obviously if successful, the doc will want to know this). I will also keep track of the days we BD. If we have to help determine conception to get the date right, it'd be nice to know possibilities. I'm going to let Eric take the lead on the trying. We'll BD when he wants and I won't get crazy about hitting any possible windows, etc. Enough babies are made accidently, that with our "normal" activity, I'd think we've got a pretty good shot (although, it seems like we've had good timing the last 4 months too). Since I've had 3 cycles of 31 days (including the one after my D&C that we didn't try), 1 of 28 days, and 1 of 37?, I'll allow myself to start testing at 32 days. I won't really know if I'm late, but it seems reasonable.

It'll be interesting to see if this strategy has a shot. We've already tried the every other day thing, the every day thing, the 15 times in one month thing, why not just try the old fashioned, we'll see what happens approach. The key will be to see if I can actually remain stress free, when I don't have a clue what my body is doing. I'll just have to remember, it didn't exactly work when I did know what it was doing.

Here's to cycle #5! I'm ready whenever you are.

Still Waiting

So still no AF. What are the chances that the temp was a fluke? Probably not good, but for some reason I can't seem to let go of the last thread of hope.

Still no AF symptoms. No cramps, still have a sore chest, not really hungry for junk, and obviously still missing the most critical indicator that AF is here.

I'll let you in on a little secret. I went a little crazy yesterday and went out and bought the absolute cheapest HPT I could find. I bought 2 for $7 and took one yesterday afternoon. I didn't see any lines, but went back and looked at it later and could almost convince myself I saw a VERY and I mean VERY faint line. I showed it to Eric and he saw it too. So I was really excited to wake up today and take another one with the first mornining urine and an EPT which is probably more sensitive.

Well, my temps plunged, so I didn't test this morning, but that glimmer of a possible line is making it really difficult to let go of the hope. I just wish things would get started already, so I could move along. If AF doesn't come tonight I may test again tomorrow morning just to seal the deal. Taking a test tends to encourage AF to show, so maybe that's a good thing.

Moving On

I didn't test this morning. My temp was only 97.4. I took it again just in case, nope, still too low. I haven't seen AF yet. I know it's not over until the fat lady sings, but I'm pretty sure I've got front row tickets to her next performance. Sigh...

I guess we'll see what next month has to bring. I'm not sure what the strategy is. I'm really not in the mood right now. Oh well, I guess I better go to work. Life goes on, right?

Sunday, March 07, 2004

Month 4, Day 36, 13 DPO

For now, I've removed my blog roll until I can figure out why it's causing problems.

Today, I feel very "not pregnant." I'm not sure what's different. My temperature was still 98.0, I went to the grocery store and had a strange craving for sweet pickles, my breasts still hurt, I still don't have any cramps or other impending AF symptoms. Yet, I feel like it's coming to an end. That's a bit sad. I'm not really in the mood to start another month. This one has just been so long.

Maybe I'm wrong. I'll take another test in the morning if my temps don't drop. I hope I'm wrong, but I don't think so.

And by the way...I will start another month and we'll give it another try. I'm still doing 2 more cycles before taking a break. I'm pretty sure I'll be ready for one.

More New Stuff

Ok, so I have now added the following in the last 12 hours.
1. Comments
2. A Hit Counter
3. A Blog Roll (automatic list of blogs I read)
4. An about me link

Problems it's caused. I now cannot scroll to the bottom of my page. I'm sure I messed up some code when I added all that stuff. I e-mailed blogger for help, but who knows how quickly they'll respond. Their site did say that paying customers get first priority, and I'm all about free, so you my readers, if you know anything about html programming, please view my source code and see if you can figure out what I screwed up. Thanks!

By the way, I love my hit counter. I have it set to view unique visitors. So, I'll probably have about 8 hits (the girls, myself, Mom, Jeremy, and Grandma), but maybe with my blogroll, I'll have more. I can also check on the stats and find out where others navigated from and if they found my site by doing a search. Very interesting. Anyway, please e-mail or leave a comment if you know how to fix my scrolling problem.

Saturday, March 06, 2004

Comments

I just added a comment section to my web page. (I think). I'm about to do a test run. Anyway, if you like it, feel free to leave me a comment! Also, if you want to learn how to do this on your site click here.

How Sweet!

Eric just got up (yes it's 1:30 p.m.) and he came to ask me if I took a test. I said yes, and then he showed me a "thumbs down" sign and I said yes. Then he said, "Well your temperature is still up." He looked at my chart! Normally he seems a bit disinterested by the daily process (although I know he does want the same end result). I think he does pay attention, but just doesn't want to show too much interest all the time, because he knows I'd never shut up.

I wish there was a different result. I wish I was still convinced I was pregnant. Maybe a little doubt is good. I won't be so crushed if this isn't the month. The good news is that we will know 100% for sure by Friday (18 DPO), probably sooner.

Month 4, Day 35, 12 DPO

Yesterday was fun. We went to Will & Samara's for dinner. It was so yummy! Samara made Caribbean Jerk Chicken and we had Corn on the cob and Fetticini Alfredo. Then we played Yahtzee. Eric ended up winning, but I'm sure some time they'll be a rematch.

So this morning my temperature was only 98.0. I wish it would have been 98.3, but I don't exactly consider that a "dip." Also, being as obbsessive as I am, I took a pregnancy test. It was negative. I should have expected it, but it still brings me down a bit. I know, I know, that's why all my friends said to wait as long as possible. It's still early. Here are some stats from Fertility Friend:

The average HPT positive is at 13.6 DPO.
Percentage of pregnancy charts with a positive at 10 DPO = 10%.
Percentage of preganncy charts with a positive at 12 DPO = 27%
Percentage of pregnancy charts with a positive at 14 DPO = 60%
Percentage of pregnancy charts with a positive at 16 DPO = 86%
Percentage of pregnancy charts with a positive at 18 DPO = 100%

The meaning, waiting is better. Now, originally, I wasn't going to test until 16 DPO. I know I can't hold out that long. With my usual lutal phase length, AF should be due tomorrow. I'm going to make my next test day 14 DPO or Monday. We'll see how that works.

An interesting comparison. Today is CD 35. Now, I don't actually know when I ovulated in my cycle the last time I was pregnant, but I did get a negative at CD 35 that time and didn't test again until CD42. In this cycle, CD 42 would put me at 19 DPO. No wonder it was so clearly positive. I won't be waiting another week this time.

Ok, stuff to do. We've got a hockey game to go to tonight and Jeremy's coming in. I better clean the house and get some food.

Friday, March 05, 2004

Month 4, Day 34, 11 DPO

So my temp is still at 98.3. That's good news right? Plus I'm still feeling nauseous almost constantly. I only ate about 3 bites of my Subway sandwich last night and then some crackers. I may test tomorrow. It's probably still early, but it's so hard to wait.

About the TV, there's really not much we can do apparently. Image burn isn't covered under our service plan from Best Buy or under the Manufacturer's Warrenty, so no one wants to pay to get this fixed. I guess all we can do is try to limit time on that channel and hope it doesn't get worse (or pay the $1000 ourselves when it does) or sue Fox for keeping their logo in one place on the screen the whole time. Last night we were watching NBC, and there logo doesn't stay on the whole time, or it moves. That would have helped.

Oh, Erica had good news yesterday. No endometriosis re-growth and they'll let them start the preliminary fertility tests to reassure them nothings wrong. They start trying again next week (how is it I'm still on this cycle?) and hopefully the doctor won't get a chance to do Erica's tests, because she'll be pregnant.

We're still waiting on news from our friends Will and Samara. He had an interview this week and waiting for the result is torture (more for them than me I suppose). We're going to thier place tonight for dinner and games.

Tomorrow we have tickets to go to a hockey game with our neighbors, so I'm looking forward to that. Also, my brother, Jeremy will be coming into town to stay for a week while he's on Spring Break. Hopefully, he won't think we're too boring.

Ok, I better leave for work.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

Today's Drama

So, there's an issue with our TV. Eric woke up this morning very angry. I guess last night he was flipping through the channels and on a mostly blank screen noticed something in the corner. "FOX 28" the station logo is being burned into our screen. It isn't bad yet. You can only notice it on a solid color screen and then you have to really look hard to make out what it says. You can see something's there, but it doesn't just pop out on every channel. Yet. It will only get worse. Now we knew the danger of having images burnt into our screen. It is a projection TV, but we don't really feel that we "abuse" our TV watching privileges. When we are home the TV is usually on, but we don't leave it on overnight or when we aren't home, etc. We do watch a variety of channels and shows, so I'm a little amazed that this happens. We watch Fox during the week for the 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. time block. Then occasionally another program, like American Idol. It isn't the only channel we watch and there are commercials, etc. so I'm really surprised that it's in there. We figure that we have the TV on from about 6-11p.m. on weekdays maybe 5 or 6 hours on Saturday and from about 12p.m.-11 p.m. on Sundays. That's a lot of time for the TV to be on for the 2 hours on weekdays to burn an image in the screen after 1 year. We're heading to Best Buy tonight to see what we can do. We do have the service plan, so they could replace the screen (costs about $1000), but I don't know that we'll want to do that every year. The point of having a TV is to watch it, so we don't want to worry that by watching the TV we're screwing it up. Or we may see if we can exchange our TV for a non-projection TV. This option makes me a little sad as I love our 55" Widescreen HDTV and can't imagine what we would replace it with. We would definitely have to get HD, but going smaller would be tough. Or we may just ask for our money back. How sad, I was going to send in the payoff this weekend. We'll see what they say tonight.

On another note. My temperature was 98.3 again today. Yahoo!

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Still 9 DPO

Have I mentioned that I think I'm pregnant? I've felt sick since about 3:00 p.m. (except for the 2 hours after I ate dinner). I also was really lightheaded when I was leaving work (made me a little nervous to drive actually). I just feel icky now so I'm going to head to bed and it's only 10:00 p.m. I sure am going to feel silly next week if AF shows up. If it's not pregnancy, I must be coming down with something. At least my head doesn't hurt today. Well, goodnight!

Flowers

Here are the flowers from the girls.

Month 4, Day 32, 9 DPO

I only have a minute, but I wanted to update. My temp went back to 98.0 today. It was a little disappointing, but it's still looking good, so I guess I'll just wait it out. I will now wait until Wednesday to test. I figure if I make it that far, there's a really good chance that it would be positive. I really want it to be. I wasn't able to pull off the "don't expect it to happen and it won't hurt as bad when it doesn't" thing this month. I'll just wait and see.

Symptoms?
I've had headaches the last 2 evenings which could be a hormonal surge or just me getting headaches. I've also felt a little nauseous in the AM and the evening yesterday and the AM today. Not bad enough to get sick, but I did decide against ice cream last night. I also went to bed at 9:30 p.m. yesterday, which very rarely happens. I've had breast tenderness, but it seems less pronounced today, so I'm not sure what that means. It still hurts when I walk and they jiggle (sorry too much info), but not as much if I poke them.

On another subject. I am planning a trip to see Mom & Dad in about 4 weeks. I'll probably book the flight tonight. I haven't been out there since Labor Day. It'll be good to see the progress on the house.

Oh yeah, I took a picute of my birthday flowers yesterday, but didn't get around to downloading them. I guess I'll do it when I get home tonight. Not much else going on. Well the pile of work on my desk is calling me. I better get to it.

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Month 4 Day 31, 8 DPO

98.3

Although I did temp about an hour later than normal....

"Don't get too excited. Wait to see what it does tomorrow. Don't get too excited. Wait to see what it does tomorrow. Don't get too excited. Wait to see what it does tomorrow. Don't get too excited. Wait to see what it does tomorrow."

It's going to be a long 8 days.

Maybe I could test earlier than day 16 if my temps go triphasic? Oh yeah, "Don't get too excited. Wait to see what it does tomorrow."

Monday, March 01, 2004

One More Thing

I have no idea why the previous Zeus picture was so small and the stuffed dog picture is so huge. I guess I still have some things to learn about blogging. Just so you know, it wasn't really intentional, and I'm too tired to try to fix it tonight. Goodnight all.

Birthday Recap - Jennifer Turns 25!

Today is my birthday. Considering I had to work I think it went pretty well. People important to me remembered and it was very nice, but low key. Here's I recap of what I scored.

Cards
Erica - sent me 2! I guess she couldn't decide which one she liked better!
Grandma & Grandpa
Donna (my Mother-In-Law)
Tammy - from work
Eric
Samara - via e-mail
Michelle - from work

Gifts
Manicure at Kenneth's - from Samara
Vanilla Candle (large) - from Kristin at work
Flowers - from the girls (Erica, Danialle, and Heather) - (picture tomorrow)
Stuffed Pug Dog - from Eric
Lighted Make Up Mirror and Stool for Use in Bathroom - from Eric
Gift Certificate from unknown location and unknown amount - Still in mail from Mom

Food
The Melting Pot - Dinner with friends last Saturday
BW3's - 12 free wings on your birthday - dinner today
Lunch Wednesday - with work friends

Also, my brother did call and leave me a message saying Happy Birthday. Nice to know he remembered.

I say overall that's a good birthday. No cake, but Mom did sing the first line of Happy Birthday on the phone to me.

I hope I didn't forget anyone or anything, so anyone who reads and made the list, I appreciate you thinking of me and thank you very much!

Good night all.