Land of Crazy

I officially have crossed into the land of crazy. I usually don't get this anxious/anxiety stricken until the 2ww. This month I'm really concerned that I may not ovulate. I'm still holding out hope that it's just going to happen later. I don't really have any reasons not ovulate. I haven't been under any particular stress, except this last week waiting every day to see if I actually ovulated. Can be anxious about ovulating, actually keep you from ovulating?

Here are some signs of my obsession:
1. I have been taking my temperature several times a day, just on the off chance I ovulated sometime during the day and it's on it's way up.
- Why that's bad...The only time your temp means something is first thing in the morning before any outside factors like moving, eating, drinking, showering, etc. can affect it, yet I still have the urge every couple of hours to do it anyway. At least I can reuse my thermometer, it isn't like taking HPT's twice a day.
2. I can't go through an evening with Eric without mentioning, my temperatures, how late my O-day is, or what we need to do to get pregnant.
- Why that's bad...My DH is of the belief that worry about getting pregnant is a sure fire way to not get pregnant. Once it becomes my only topic of conversation, he gets annoyed.
3. I bought my first pack of OPK's tonight. I was hoping they would help me find my missing O.
- Why that's bad...You probably shouldn't start using them on Day 21, but it was negative, so I think I can expect no spike tomorrow. They were also only $12 for a 5 day supply and came with a bonus HPT, so that's not so bad. It also gives me some practice at POAS (just added that one to the glossary).

Anyway, this cycle is not that fun anymore. Read Erica's blog and she's thinking it's not so fun either. Message to Erica, stick it out and see what happens this month. Your timing couldn't have been better. It does take a while for some people, but places like FF I think exagerate that. I mean people who get PG on the first shot, don't usually make it to the charting and waiting around in TTC chatroom stage. If you're concerned, I would call the doctor after this cycle. It's been over 6 months of trying and you have a couple of great charts, so you have something to start with. I have faith that it will happen eventually. Don't worry about feeling a little meloncoly about your cycle this month. I felt the same way last month and also had perfect timing, it really did help take that sting away when AF did show.

On another note. According to my OPK, I probably won't have a spike tomorrow. Which means I didn't ovulate today. If I ovulate tomorrow, and spike on Monday, I will be due to test on 3/9/04. I think that could be a sign. If Erica is due to test on my birthday, and I'm due to test on hers, I think we should both get positives, for working it out that way. I think that would be a great birthday present.