Day 11

I started a similar post about 2 days ago and then my computer just turned off in the middle of it. Maybe it's good that that post didn't get published because it had a lot of kind of sad feelings about babies, pregnancy etc. Speaking of babies, I may get to go see Jonathan again today. That will be cool. I wonder how much bigger his now. He's 2 weeks old. I'm still working diligently towards my goal of Motherhood. I'm sad to say that last night we were together for the sole purpose of trying to conceive. Neither one of us was in the mood, but we are trying to be together every 2 to 3 days and it was on day 3. Although, without giving too many details, (I know Mom reads this), we were ok with the decision by the time we were done. :)

I don't really know why, but I think I've very close to ovulation point. That really doesn't make since to me, since I usually have a little longer than 28 day cycle, I would think I ovulate after day 14, but something makes me think I'm earlier. I had a migraine three days in a row Monday-Wednesday. I've read that hormone induced migraines can be either at the time of your period when hormone levels drop or during ovulation when they spike. My BBT charting has also been interesting. It's been pretty stable except for the 2 days we were at the cabin. My first 3 days of charting it was 97.6 degrees, then Saturday morning at the cabin it dropped to 97.0. Sunday I had a spike of 97.9 then Monday through Wednesday back at home it was 97.7, so a little higher than before, but stable. Then today it went back up to 97.9. I kind of feel like tomorrow it will inch up a little more or I'll have the real spike that means I ovulated. If so, then it's a good thing we were together last night.

I'm sure it's pointless to say, but I really hope I get pregnant this month. Although I'm definately functional, I think I'm in a bit of a depression. I'm usually such a happy positive person, and although there hasn't been a complete reversal, I feel like every happiness still has a little shadow. I'm really tired of that, I want to be truely happy again. I hope being pregnant will do that for me. It's what I want most. When Eric asked me what I wanted for Christmas, the only thing I can think of is to be pregnant. He's doing his best, but I definately won't be finding out at Christmas. If this month works I could find out as soon as Dec 1, but definately by Dec 8. If not, it will be January for the next month.

I'll post more if anything exciting happens.