Today I scheduled my appointment for my D&C. I will be going in at 4:15 p.m on Friday, October 3. I have to be at the hospital at 2:15 p.m. and can't eat or drink after midnight on Thursday. Friday will be a long day. Setting the date for the end of my pregnancy was difficult. After I got off the phone with the nurse I cried for a little while.

Today I didn't go to work. I've been trying to take some time to reflect a little and honestly I'm nervous about going back to the office and facing everyone. I'm sure that they will all be supportive, but I'm sure it will be hard. Today I painted my memory box and I'm about to do the really hard part and write the letter to my baby. I think it will help me heal.

The days keep going by and I think I'm coping well. I've been surrounded by incredible love and support of family and friends. It's extremely helpful. Two friends I'd like to mention in particular are Tammy and Samara.

First of all Tammy, Tammy is an incredibly sweet, caring and compassionate woman that I'm fortunate enough to know because we work together. She was blessed and pleasantly surprised earlier this year to find out that she was pregnant after going through a host of her own trials and sadness. Her son will be born in November. Tammy has been there for me from the time I decided to start her fitness program, to the time when Eric and I decided to start trying for a family, to the weeks of questions before I found out I was pregnant, to the day I told her I was pregnant, to the past two weeks of sadness and loss. She's been a friend to listen and a shoulder to cry on. She personally knows what I am going through and is a shining example of the joy that can be found after a loss. I appreciate her every day and count myself lucky to have become her friend.

Secondly, is my best friend Samara. I've known Samara since we met at a Christmas party almost 2 years ago. We instantly clicked and have developed a deep friendship. While Samara has not been through the same experience I am going through now, she has been beside me all the way and is there to listen when I need to share or offer advice or words of encouragement to try to keep my spirits lifted. I spent the first evening after the news with Samara and her husband as Eric and I needed to get out of the house. We have shared our secrets of the past and hopes for the future. While this is something I never thought I'd have to deal with, she has been there to hold my hand. My hope is that our friendship will last for a long time to come, if I am ever needed, I can be there to hold her hand too.