Only 20 more hours until my doctor's appointment. Regardless of what I said a couple days ago, I'm feeling pretty good about it. I still have dark shadows of fear and anxiety creep in occasionally, but overall I think it's going to be ok.
A woman in my office is about 11 weeks pregnant and her doctor isn't going to do an ultrasound until the beginning of November. I was thinking, although I was excited to get one early, I never would have been afraid if I hadn't had one. No other symptoms make me think anything is wrong.
Every day that passes I feel more pregnant. I notice that I'm more irritable lately. I don't really think I act on it (although Eric might disagree), but I just feel whiny. My other two constant feeling are tiredness and hunger. I always want either a snack or a nap. Snacking is easier. My body is also changing. Even my "fat" clothes are getting tight. I feel ridiculous. I put on these pants that used to be too big and they still are really baggy in the hips and thighs, but then they are tight on my waist. I feel like a clown because even the bigger clothes don't look right. I love the little belly though. It's just rounder than before and I keep touching it. It's definately different than being fat, but it's still not enough of a "pregnant" belly to wear the maternity clothes waiting patiently in my closet. I may give in in a couple of weeks. I resisted on the bra thing and then felt so much better when I switched. I'm sure this will be the same way.
I can't wait until tomorrow when I can move on from this last week of fear and get really excited about pregnancy again. If it weren't for this week, I could say that I love being pregnant. Maybe that can be next week's theme.
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