The Waiting Game

Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.
3 more days or 69 more hours. Why did I let Eric decide when we would go back to the doctor?

I'm sure I'll survive, but this is tougher than waiting to take the pregnancy test. Then if I couldn't wait, I took the test it was negative and I wasted $10. Now if I can't wait, I just have to wait some more.

I'm trying to stay positive. I haven't cried at work since Friday. I can tell people what's going on without seeming like I'm falling apart (I had to learn that one since I told EVERYONE when my first doctor appointment was). Just in my head I can't get away. I find it a little sad, but I've put all my happy thoughts on hold. I'm not sharing nursery plans with Eric, I'm not planning when I should register at Babies R Us, I'm not thinking about whether I want my baby to be named Caleb or Grace (there are our names so far!), I'm just not thinking. I'm trying not to get my hopes up in case of bad news. How sad is that?

Sorry to bum anyone out, like I said I'm not falling apart on the outside. I have a positive front, but inside I can't help but worry. This is my outlet for those fears. Ok, that's enough negative thoughts for today.

The baby is healthy and perfect. The baby is healthy and perfect. The baby is healthy and perfect. The baby is healty and perfect. Three more days.