Chicken Pox

It's official. Grace has chicken pox. This morning I counted 13 spots on Grace's face, not counting all the ones hiding in her hair. I called the doctor's office and spoke to the nurse. We decided not to go back to be re-examined and the nurse told us what to do. We'll give her Benadryl to help keep her from itching, Tylenol for the fever, keep her well hydrated and comfortable. She's been overly clingy today and I can tell she just doesn't feel well. Probably doesn't help that she is also fighting a cold and her 4th tooth broke through today. Poor baby.

We've made some plans for this week. First of all, we are cancelling our trip to Philadelphia. Samara, Ava, Grace and I were going to go visit Samara's sister and go shopping this weekend. However, with this new development, plus the fact that her sister's fiance hasn't had chicken pox, we're not going. Eric spoke to his boss and is taking Monday off work. I'll go in and explain things to my boss. I'll take Tuesday off and then half days the rest of the week. Then Grandpa Gary is coming to save the day. Eric's Dad is going to drive over Tuesday night and stay until Friday. He's going to take care of her the rest of the week. To make it a little easier on him, I'll do half days so he won't have to watch her for 3 whole days, but he'll be on his own most of Wednesday. I'll take the morning off that day, because I need to get my bloodwork done, but I won't be home to do a whole lot. I also spoke to my oncologist and he assured me that I am not at any additional risk as my chicken pox antibodies have been there a long time and shouldn't be affected by the chemo.

Here are some pictures from Thankgiving and the chicken pox.

First of all, this is a requested picture of Grace walking yesterday morning.


This is Grace finishing up her Thanksgiving dinner.


While most of it made it into her mouth, the floor got a good deal of Grace's dinner too.


Here is Ava with her sweet potatos.


This is where I was going to put a picture of the girls in the bath, but I just viewed it and realized it shows more of Ava than I feel comfortable putting on the Internet. Especially, since she doesn't belong to me, I shouldn't be putting naked baby pictures of other people's babies on the Internet. Trust me though, it was really a cute picture.

And finally, this picture taken around noon today shows Grace still trying to be happy despite those nasty chicken pox.

Sharing with Friends

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with friends. We've sort of started our own tradition and it's nice. Last year was the first year I didn't spend Thanksgiving with my extended family. If you remember I was less than a month from my due date last Thanksgiving, so there was no way we could travel, so we started having a new tradition with Will and Samara. Last year when we were both pregnant, we looked forward to this Thanksgiving with our 2 little ones.

We arrived at about 9:45 a.m. and Samara and I did some cooking. Wednesday I made yeast rolls, homemade noodles and cooked the chicken for my chicken and noodles. Thursday morning before leaving the house I made up some cookie dough for my German Chocolate Cake cookies. Once we got there Thursday I cut up some veggies and we had veggies and dip. Samara made the turkey, scalloped corn, yams and mashed potatos. The girls played for a while and after a light lunch/snack Grace took an hour and a half nap. Dinner was ready around 2:30 p.m. and we feasted! Grace ate 2 small rolls, a big spoonful of sweet potatos, and chicken and noodles. Ava had some sweet potatos too. Grace made a mess on the floor and even got mashed potatos in her hair, so after they ate, we decided to give the girls a bath together. It was really cute to watch them. They both kept looking at each other like, "Why is there someone else in here with me?" After the bath, I let Grace take another 45 minute nap while Samara and I cleaned up the kitchen. After that, I made my cookies from the dough I made earlier. We hung out a little and had some dessert and ended up leaving around 7:30 p.m. Once we got home, Grace went straight to bed and we just crashed.

Today Samara and I decided to hit the stores. Ava stayed home with her Daddy and since Eric had to work, Grace came with us. First we went to Kohls and it was totally crazy! Then we went to Babies R Us and it was much more my pace. However, when I was putting Grace's coat on her, I noticed a bump on her neck. Thursday night, we had noticed a bump on her head and so I realized it was still there and I found two more in her hair. I started freaking out a bit and was slightly concerned it looked like Chicken Pox. We had decided we were ready to get some lunch and then be done shopping, so on the way to the restaurant I decided to call Grace's doctor. They said they could see us right away and asked us to use a separate entrance and go into the "rash room." We saw one of the on-call doctors and he made me feel a bit better. For one, Grace isn't running a fever. He said the big bump on her head looked a bit like Chicken Pox but the others didn't. He said if the other bump was there yesterday she would have had lots by today. He said it was likely a bacterial infection and told me to put Neosporin on it. He said if it was Chicken Pox she'd have lots more by tomorrow, so to call them in the morning (they are open until noon) and let them know what it looked like. After that we ate lunch and then Samara went home.

Grace and I took a nap for about an hour and a half and then have just been playing the rest of today. However, I think the doctor may have misdiagnosed us. At the doctors office, I was aware of 4 spots. When I changed Grace's diaper around 5:00 p.m. I notice a spot in the diaper region, plus one on her back and one behind her knee. Before she went to bed, Eric and I did a body check and counted 14 spots including 5 on her head in the hair. I have a feeling they'll be more by morning.

So, I'm waiting for the official diagnosis tomorrow, but I'm pretty sure Grace has the chicken pox. Here are a few of the reasons this is bad:
- Did I mention that Grace and Ava took a bath together yesterday?
- Grace also sneezed directly in Ava's face yesterday.
- We directly exposed a 6 month old to chicken pox.
- I've been off work for a week and a half and probably shouldn't take another week off.
- Grace will be contagious for probably at least a week, so no daycare.
- It's December and Eric can't really take time off either.
- Does an itchy cranky baby home for a week sound like fun?
- Grace will probably still have scabs on her birthday.
- Next week my immune system might be at a low and I'm not sure if I'm at higher risk even though I've had it before.

So, we had a wonderful Thanksgiving sharing with friends. We even decided to share contagious childhood diseases.

Tomorrow, I'll confirm the diagnosis and share some of our pictures from yesterday.

The Weekend and Walking

Today I am recovering from my very busy weekend. I think it went very well though, so I deserve to rest today.

Friday I spent pretty much all day packing/preparing for our trip. I finished up a little laundry, made the lists and even went to the grocery store. We decided to save time, I would pick Eric and Grace up at 5:00 p.m., let Eric change and hit the road immediately. That way we could stop around 6 or 6:30 and get dinner and feed Grace and then head back out. If Eric picked her up and came home first, we wouldn't have even left the house until almost 6 and then we would have had to figure out dinner, etc. Our original plans were to head to a hotel in my hometown that my parents had reserved a room in. They drove in Friday morning and we were all going to share a room. There was a lot of family in town and Grandma's house would have been too crowded. Add a one year old and me on day 3-4 after chemo and it seemed like a better idea to have our own space. Right before I was ready to leave on Friday my Mom called and said that some of our old friends from church had offered to let us stay at their place. They just built and moved into a new house a month ago and it's beautiful. They have three grown children, so the lower level of this house was like a guest suite. There were two completely furnished bedrooms, a living room area and kitchenette. It was perfect. We got in around 10 p.m. and Grace got up and visited with Grandma and Grandpa for a half hour or so and then we all headed to bed.

Saturday morning we got up just after 7 a.m. Mom (Grandma) helped me out with Grace while I got all of her stuff together and dressed. We left the house around 8 to go to the church and get working on stuff. We had to run by Wal-Mart and the grocery store before meeting all the cousins and aunts that were helping at 9 a.m. I was feeling ok and trying to stay on top of the situation by taking my anti-nausea proactively. However, my appetite has been enormous and food really settles my stomach. Dad and Eric had brought us McDonald's to the church, but it wasn't really enough to fill me up, so mid-morning I had to scrounge up some more to eat to make me feel better. I also needed to request a sit-down job and helped with organizing the napkins. There was too much excitement with all the decorating and people for Grace to take a morning nap, so Eric took Grace and I back to the house around 11 to try to get a nap before the party started at 2 p.m. We grabbed lunch on the way and I got her down by 11:45 a.m. I decided I needed to rest a little too, so I took about a 45 minute nap.

My Grandparents 50th Anniversary Open House started was from 2 to 4 p.m. Fifty years is so amazing. I love that I have such amazing examples to look up to. My grandparents have been together 50 years and my parents have been together 28 years. Between them they have 6 children who were all present with the exception of my Uncle Tom who is deceased. They have 11 grandchildren, who were all present with the exception of my brother who did call in and was on the phone with Grandpa during our photo. They have 13 great-grandchildren who were all present. Add that to the friends and extended family and it was quite a gathering.



This picture is of the Grandchildren. Notice the stick with the head and coat? That's my brother. My Dad put his head on a stick and they put a coat on him, so he could make it into pictures and sit with us at the table. It was actually kind of funny.



After the party, we changed clothes and then went to Grandma and Grandpa's to visit for a while. We only stayed until about 7:30 because Grace was really needing to get to bed. We went back to the house, put her to bed and then visited with my parents and friends until time for bed.

Sunday morning Grace was up at 6 a.m., so we got an early start home. We were home before noon and spent the rest of the day resting or chasing after Grace.

Two more things. First, when Jeremy called in we found out that he'll be leaving for Kuwait on Thanksgiving and then leaving to go to Fort Bragg on the 27th. (That was second-hand info, so I may be a little off). Anyway, he should be back in the states by Dec. 4th and then back in Iowa by the 11th. Yeah!

Secondly, Grace decided she can walk. It's the craziest thing. She's been taking steps for a while now. At night we practice having her walk back and forth between Eric and I. She'd take 2 or 3 or 4 steps and then lunge into us. Now, she thinks she can walk and that's how she's getting around. She'll stand up and then head across the room. I'm talking big distances. If she's near a table or something, she deliberately won't hold on. She'll walk the length of the coffee table right beside it and never touch it. It's really cute because she's totally wobbly, but she is determined that she knows how to walk now. She barely crawled all weekend. She has been trying to stand up without using anything to pull herself up, but hasn't quite mastered that yet. It's the craziest thing I've ever seen. It's like it clicked in her head and that's the only way for her to get around now. I have a feeling the bumps and bruises will be much worse for a little while, because she's not that good at the walking thing yet, but I'm so proud of her!

Almost

My hair is almost gone. This was taken this morning freshly out of the shower. Last night Eric told me he thought I'd be bald by Sunday. I think it depends on how long I shower tomorrow. It's funny because to me my hair looks much lighter in color now, but it's just because it's so thin. The hairs in my hands in the shower are still very dark.



For comparison, the family pictures I posted yesterday were taken two weeks ago tomorrow.

When the hair goes it goes. It's been falling out for just 9 days.

Family Christmas Pictures

Christmas 2005 - 1
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma.

These are the pictures we got taken a couple of weekends ago. See the Grace Pictures at Flickr for the rest of them. Or click on the picture in this entry. We had 7 pictures taken. They were all good, but we chose one Christmas pose for our wallets (It may have been this one) we'll send out with Christmas cards. We also got a free 8x10 and ordered the one with the white background in a 11x14 for our living room.

Chemo #2

I had my second dose of chemo today. The routine was pretty much the same as last time. My blood counts were back up in the normal range, so that was good news. I did talk to Dr. Y and he gave me some more info about my second stage of chemo. I'll have one more round of my current regimen (FEC) and then I'll start Taxotere for 3 cycles. I'll start Herceptin when I start Taxotere and then do it every week, since I have to go in for my CBCs weekly. However, once I finish the Taxotere, they'll change my Herceptin regimen to every 3 weeks. I'll just get a larger dose. I had Dr. Y write me a prescription for a "Hair Prothesis." Last week I called my insurance company and found out that they will cover 1 wig per year for me at 100% reimbursement, as long as I have a prescription. Since my Mom already bought one for me, I just need to discuss with my Mom how to handle the reimbursement money and then send in my paperwork. Maybe I'll have him write me another prescription in January and get a new style.

My hair is falling out like there's no tomorrow. I actually have a few bald spots now. Last night, for fun, Eric and I took the tape/lint brush roller and rolled it over my head to see how much hair we could get off. It filled up pretty quickly. My wig is still itchy, so I ordered a wig/cap to wear under it. To be more comfortable, I just wore my scarf today. It's really pretty and matched my outfit, so that was fine. I don't really mind that people might know about the cancer, I'd rather be comfortable.

It's 5:30 p.m. and Eric is picking up Grace. I just took a anti-nausea pill and am about to go start some chicken noodle soup. Luckily I don't have a headache this time, but I still feel sick. I came home and took a two hour nap and now am just hanging out on the couch. I don't like chemo very much, but I hope that by this time next week I'll be back to my old self. It's good for me in the long run, right?

11 Months

Grace turned 11 months old this weekend. I can't believe she's almost a year old. Her development is so amazing. Physically, she has 3 teeth. She is trying to walk. We practice letting her walk back and forth between Eric and I. She has taken four steps unassisted, but usually just takes two or three. She has been very talkative lately. She's starting to jabber. Her new thing is playing with her toy telephones (or real ones). She will put the phone up to her ear and say something that sounds suspiciously like "hello?" We have been trying to introduce more "real" foods. We haven't sent baby food to daycare in two weeks. We are still feeding stage 3's for dinner, but I'm trying to introduce more people food. She loves fruit and we just started eating Cheerio's instead of just fruit puffs. She also is very interested in drinking out of a cup. She wants to hold it though, so it's a struggle to keep whatever's in the cup from going all over her. Her temper is coming out too. When she doesn't get her way, she will now cry and throw herself face down on the floor. We aren't giving in to her, but it is so funny to watch her get mad. Unfortunately, this means there is more crying in the house than there was a month ago. I guess I'd rather have the crying than a child with no rules or boundries.

Here are the milestones Grace has reached according to "What to Expect the First Year." Grace's accomplishments are in bold.

By the end of the eleventh month, your baby
...should be able to:
- get into a sitting position from stomach
- pick up tiny object with any part of thumb and finger
- understand word "no" (but not always obey it)

...will probably be able to:
- play patty-cake (clap hands) or wave bye-bye
- walk holding on to furniture (cruise)

...may possibly be able to:
- pick up a tiny object neatly with tips of thumb and forefinger
- stand alone momentarily
- say dada or mama discriminately (no dada, but I think she knows what mama means)
- say one word other than mama or dada (She may be saying Zeus or hello, but I don't know for sure yet)

...may even be able to:
- stand alone well
- indicate wants in ways other than crying
- "play ball" (roll ball back to you)
- drink from a cup independently (sippy cup)
- use immature jargoning (gibberish that sounds like baby is talking a foreign language
- say three or more words other than mama or dada
- respond to a one-step command without gestures (give that to me - without hand out)
- walk well

Losing It

After some more internal debating, yesterday I went through with it and got my hair buzzed. It was sort of hard for me considering I still have/had a lot of hair. People that don't know me wouldn't have been able to tell that I was losing it. I could tell though. It was already feeling and looking thinner and everytime I ran my hands through my hair, I ended up with handfuls. While, I probably could have delayed for a while longer, I didn't know how long. Each day the volume of hair coming out was getting progressively worse. I don't know if my first bald spot will show up tomorrow or Wednesday or if I could go another week. I didn't want Monday to wake up with scalp showing and have to figure out what to do about work. Plus, I was filling my trashcans and couldn't keep my hands out of my hair.

So, Saturday morning after going to breakfast with Chadd, Danialle, Eric and Grace, the guys went to do some errands of their own and Danialle and Grace came with me to Great Clips. Here is the before picture:



If you look back to my previous picture of the hair cut, I think you can tell it's thinner now. When it was my turn, I told the woman who was going to cut my hair that I wanted her to wash it first. My scalp is so tender lately, that I really thought a shampoo and massage would feel good. While we were walking to the sink, I told her that I wanted to warn her that I was undergoing chemo therapy and that I was losing my hair. I didn't want her to freak out when it came out in clumps in her hands. Then I told her when we were done that I was going to have her cut it all off. She said, "All of it?" I said yes and she asked if I was sure. I then ran my hand through my hair and showed her the handful that came out. Then she understood. She did a really good job washing my hair and asked me several questions about the type of cancer and my age and if I had kids. When she was done washing my hair I tried to take a look at the sink, but she had already grabbed the hair to take it to the trashcan. It was a big handful. She saw me look and said, "I didn't want you to have to see that." It must have been alot.

We went to the chair and she got out the clippers. We decided to start with a 3/4 inch guard and just see how short I wanted to go. I decided against going bald, just because buzzed will look better for now and relieve most of the issues with the clumps of hair. Plus shaving next to the skin, I could get cut and I certainly don't need an infection. The 3/4 inch was too long, so we went down to a 1/2 inch. Danialle and Grace came over to watch. Grace seemed to be facinated. Here I am in the chair.



There was a point when I saw my hair coming off that I cried a little. It wasn't sobbing, but it was hard to see my hair falling on the floor. This is real now, I officialy feel like a cancer survivor. There were a couple other people in the salon. There was one woman who was there with her daughter and another woman. I could see her watching me in the mirror. When she noticed I saw her looking at me, she told me she overheard my story and she thought I was brave. Danialle told me that she was crying. Everyone kept telling me it looked good. Thankfully, I don't have a weird shaped head, so that's a relief. When we finished, the stylist told me she wanted to give me a hug. I hugged her. It was an emotional event and I'm guessing was her most interesting cut of the day.

Here I am in the salon, just after the haircut.



Once we finished, we went to the grocery store and then went home. I had a migraine by the time we went to the store, so we skipped any other shopping. I kind of think it was stress again. I came home and took some Imitrex and then our guests let me take a nap for about an hour and a half. When I woke up I still had a killer headache, so I took a second dose. I started to feel better after that. Our babysitter came at 5:30 p.m. We went to dinner and a movie. While I was getting ready and was dressed and had my makeup on, but no wig, Eric told me I looked hot. He tried to convince me to go out without the wig, but I didn't want people to stare at me. He said he really likes it short and thinks it looks good. Not that I'd wear it this way on purpose, but it's nice to hear. So, I wore my wig all night. Here is the new look with the wig.



So a day later, I keep forgetting I don't have much hair. It has been nice that I'm not distracted by the clumps of hair falling out. We stayed home this morning since Danialle and Chadd were still here. Eric took them to the airport before he went to watch football, so I haven't left the house today. I'm definately not wearing the wig around the house. It is very itchy (maybe because I still have hair?) and sort of irritated my scalp. I think I'm going to get a wig cap to wear underneath. I think the hair cut was a good idea. Last night after we got home and I took off the wig, I can see where my hair is super thin in the sideburn area. It looks like where the wig was rubbing, it rubbed off the hair. Today if I got into the restroom and rub my head over the sink it gets covered in short little hairs. So even though it isn't nearly as noticable, I still am losing a ton of hair, it is just much shorter. I'm thinking I'll have bald spots within the week.

I've got some good updates on Grace and I need to do her 11 month update, but I'll save that for tomorrow.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

It's official. I'm losing my hair. Wednesday was the start and each day has gotten progressively worse. Today, it's not an exageration to say I'm losing handfuls of hair. I can tell it's thinner. It looks thinner. Luckily, I had a whole lot to start with so if you didn't know me, you wouldn't be able to tell yet. The worst part is all of my trashcans look like a small furry animal crawled into them and died. Last night I slept in my turban/cap to keep my pillow from being covered. My scalp is feeling sore too. Like the weight of my hair is just too much. I keep having Eric massage it for me.

So, tomorrow I'm making an event of it. In just one hour from now, Danialle and Chadd will be landing in Columbus for the weekend. Tomorrow morning, Danialle, Samara and I will be going to shave my head. Afterwards we might have to try a little retail therapy. I'm thinking some new shoes would make my head look much better! I'll get to spend the whole day with Danialle and then tomorrow night we have plans! We have a babysitter coming to watch Grace and then the four of us have dinner reservations and may decide to go to a movie. We originally were going to the comedy club, but I didn't get tickets soon enough. Anyway, I have the sitter until midnight, so we're going to try to do something fun outside the house. But even if we came home and played games it would be a good time.

On another note, I had a really nice week at work. Everything went along nicely without me and my coworkers have been so nice to me now that I'm back. They asked me enough questions and had me help out enough that I know I was missed, but they are still running with my work. I got some things done that I never have time to do and didn't feel stressed at all. I've got a great schedule right now. I'm going to work Monday and Tuesday and then will probably go back after Thanksgiving. I have told my boss that I'm planning a week off after each treatment. That would put me back on Wednesday before Thanksgiving, but as the office closes at 1 p.m .that day, it seems silly to go in, so I may just take a week and a half off.

Ok, I'm going to go sit anxiously waiting for my company to arrive! I plan on taking before, during and after pictures of the hair cut and let you see me in my wig! I've got company, so it may be Sunday before I post again, but I'll be sure to post.

Blood and Hair

Today has been an interesting day. This morning in the shower I noticed that I may be having the beginning of my hair loss. It wasn't handfuls or clumps, but when I was washing my hair I noticed about three times more than normal in my hands. I may need to go get my head shaved this weekend after all. Tomorrow will be the two week mark, so things might be on schedule.

I had a 9:00 a.m. appointment to get my blood drawn. Since I'm getting over my cold fairly quickly, I thought I'd be in good shape. I also have much more energy than last week. Anyway, my white blood cells were low. The normal range is 4.5 to 11. Last week I was at 5.4, today I was at 1.7. This means that I am more prone to infection, so I have to be careful not to do anything that puts me more at risk. I also have to start taking an antibiotic as a preventative. I still feel ok and they said it's pretty typical for your second week to be a little low. They expect next week for my counts to be back up and I should be able to get my chemo on schedule.

Tonight I went to the "Look Good, Feel Better" class sponsored by the American Cancer Society. There were four of us there. I was the youngest, but not by much. There was a woman there who was 30. Two of them had lost their hair already and the other woman was on week 2 also. We spent the first hour learning about makeup. The coolest thing was that they gave us free makeup. Different comestic companies donate makeup. My kit had Q-tips, a mirror, lotion, facial cleansing cloths, moisturizing cream, sunscreen, concealer, liquid foundation, stick foundation, blush, eyeshadow, 2 eyeliners, mascara, lip liner, 3 lipstick/lip glosses. After the makeup demo, we went over wigs, scarves, and other head coverings. We went over how to tie scarves and a cool t-shirt turban thing. It was fun and nice to talk to other cancer survivors. I'd recommend it to anyone.

I'll have to update tomorrow depending on the hair situation.

My Weekend

Tomorrow morning I go back to work. I think I'm ready. I finally feel like my old self, although I've come down with a cold this weekend. I'm popping Sudafed like candy though, so hopefully it won't get too bad.

I've had a very nice somewhat relaxing weekend and I think I'm ready to get back to normal with work.

Friday evening Eric brought a pizza home with him from work so we had pizza and after Grace went to bed we watched two movies. We rented "The Longest Yard" and "Guess Who?" They were both really good and we haven't rented movies in a long time.

Saturday morning I got up with Grace and we played until she went down for her morning nap at about 9:45 a.m. Eric was just getting up and I was still tired, so I took a 45 minute nap until 10:30. Then I got in the shower and Grace got up at 11 a.m. We had an appointment to get our pictures taken at 12:10 and managed to get out the door at 11:30. We had to buy Grace some new black shoes for the pictures, so by the time we did that, it was time. They were running late, but we still managed to get out of there by 1:30 p.m. I'm very pleased with our family pictures and they will be going out with our Christmas cards. I also should get them online in about a week, so I'll post one when I get them. After we got home, Grace took a nap and Eric watched football. I just hung out and did some stuff on the computer. Will came over and watched one of the games and Grace and I played until it was time for her dinner/bath/bedtime routine.

Today, I got to sleep in until 8:30 (Sunday's are Daddy's days). We went to church and then afterwards, we went to BW3's for lunch. I came home when the games started and Eric stayed with Martin to watch Martin's team (since the Colt's play tomorrow night). Grace fell asleep before we left the restaurant and stayed asleep when I put her in her crib. I almost took a nap, but realized I wasn't really tired, so I got up and did some cleaning while Grace slept for the next hour. When she got up, I played some music in her room and cleaned it and lowered her crib mattress while she played with her toys. Then we moved downstairs and I cleaned the kitchen while Grace played some more. After her afternoon bottle, we made our weekly trek to the grocery store. By the time we got home and put away the groceries it was time for dinner.

Tonight I'm updating her baby book, finishing up my thank you notes, and maybe getting some more of my photo album captions done while I go watch Desperate Housewifes and Grey's Anatomy starting just 30 minutes from now.

Ok, that sounds like a really boring weekend, but it was so nice to just do normal stuff and not feel wore out. I don't even really mind the cold, at least that's a "normal" illness.

I'll try to update a couple times next week, but going back to work may put a cramp in my Internet time. So far next week looks like this:
Monday - Watching the Colts game!
Tuesday - no specific plans
Wednesday - CBC in the morning, "Look Good Feel Better" class in the evening Thursday - Lots of TV to watch, but maybe doing some cleaning for our company Friday - Danialle and Chadd in for the weekend!
Saturday - Babysitter coming and dinner and comedy club plans!
Sunday - friends leave, rest up.

Tomorrow Grace is wearing her Payton Manning jersey to daycare. Sounds like a photo opportunity!

I Have A Plan

I spent much of today researching the medical school situation. First of all, this is going to be a long process. I scheduled a phone appointment with a pre-med advisor at the undergraduate school to discuss how I should go about doing the pre-requisites. As I have a business degree, I only took 1 semester of physics in college. To apply to med school I will need a full year (3 quarters or 2 semesters, plus labs) of physics, general chemistry, organic chemistry, and biology. It is also recommended that I take some anatomy or physiologoy classes.

I also called and spoke to someone in the admissions office of a local community college. Online I figured out that I can take all of the needed courses, but since I already have a degree I wasn't sure how what to declare as a "major". The admissions woman was extremely helpful and I think I may have a plan for applying and meeting with someone to be sure I am taking the correct course work.

It would be possible for me to start taking courses Winter Quarter (January), but I don't want to risk missing classes or anything because of chemo. By January, I may be pretty tired out, not to mention Grace's surgery is in January and I'll have her at home for a couple of weeks. So, the plan is to start taking courses during the Spring Quarter which begins in March. All of my needed courses are offered either during the evening hours, weekends, or via a "hybrid" class which has the lecture portion online and you only have to go to the labs.

I mapped out a course work timeline. Taking only 1 course next Spring and Summer and then 2 per quarter after that, I will take classes through Spring of 2008. I will have from March to August to study for the MCAT, which is only offered in April and August. I will take it in August 2008 and submit my application for medical school by the December 2008 deadline. Assuming I am accepted, I would start school in the fall of 2009.

That gives me 4 years to get things in order. I'll be extremely busy taking classes in the mean-time, but that will give me practice to get back in the study mode. I'll also have the next 4 years to beef up the extra-curricular parts of my application. Special consideration is given to community involvement and leadership. I would like to get involved with some local breast cancer groups, and maybe I can get involved in some other support groups or health related fields. They want applicants to have experience being around sick people (I wonder if my hours in the chemo room will count?). You also have to have experienced time with physicians. I have the feeling either Dr. L or Dr. Y would be happy to let me shadow them for a day if I told them I wanted to go to medical school. I also have a really good relationship with Grace's pediatrician, so maybe I could even get her to help me with that. I'll also be able to work on getting our finances in order and being prepared to become unemployed in four years. It's also not close enough, so that my current employer needs to get too concerned.

I also did a little calculation and I don't think having a second child is going to interfere with the plans either. I will have my 2 year cancer check up in September 2007. Assuming we get the "all clear" and permission to try to get pregnant, we will wait until January 2008. If I got pregnant immediately, the baby would be due in September, just after I take the MCAT. I would have almost an entire year before starting school. So I'd have a 5 year old and 1 year old when I started school.

Of course, this all still has to be approved by the Big Guy, but it's exciting to see that this is a possibility. You never know, He may decide he wants me to start sooner than 4 years from now, and I may do pre-requisites full time. Maybe Eric will have an awesome job fall in his lap and make enough money that I can quit earlier. But for now, this is the plan. I think it's a good one.

Halloween Pictures

As promised, here are Grace's pictures from her first Halloween. The first one is the best of her costume. The last one is what she looked like to everyone while Trick-Or-Treating in her stroller. She wasn't a fan of the hat and refused to stand up in her dress.

Much Better Now

I feel much better today. I decided to just listen to my body and I didn't move off the couch yesterday until it was time to go to see Dr. L for my post-op appointment. My appointment was at 4:15 p.m. and then I went and picked Grace up. She was in a fabulous mood and I enjoyed every moment of the two hours I had with her before bed. We played a very exciting game of peek-a-boo and I can't tell you what happens to my heart when that girl giggles.

Speaking of my appointment...there must be something about that place. I get teary eyed every appointment. I'm glad I like my doctors. Dr. L gave me a hug when she came in and even noticed I'd cut my hair. She asked appropriate questions regarding the chemo. She checked my scars and said I'm healing beautifully. I mentioned that I'm getting tender in the underarm area over the last few days and she said I have a bit of fluid build up. She said she could drain it for me, but that would require sticking a needle in it and she wasn't crazy about doing that since the chemo makes me more prone to infection. I wasn't crazy about the idea of having another needle stuck into me either, so we decided to wait and see if it gets worse. I'm supposed to rest it and use a heating pad, which should take care of it too. I also have a couple of stiches that haven't dissolved yet. As long as I don't pick at them, they are fine to stay and will eventually disolve, so I decided not to have her dig those out either. I asked her about going back to work. She said it's up to me, but I got the distinct impression that she would rather me take my time and be sure I'm ready. She said I'll know when it's time. So, I've decided to take her advice. I was considering going back tomorrow, but now I'll wait until Monday. That will give me a full week plus Monday and Tuesday the following week before I'm out again for chemo #2.

Today I had to go to Dr. Y's office for my CBC (complete blood count). My appointment was at 9 a.m., but I never know what traffic will do. I got there at 8:35 a.m. and Dr. Y was getting out of his car when I pulled up. He saw me, and stopped and waited on me to get out and walked in with me. He asked me how last week went and lots of questions about side effects. I told him I've been tired (mostly this week) and that I thought I was getting a mouth sore, but it seemed to go away and now I have a mild sore throat. He told me after they took my blood he'd take a look at it for me. I went in and they took me back pretty quickly. I had to psyche myself up to get stuck in the port again. I think I make it worse by worrying, it really doesn't hurt that much, I just don't like the idea of a big needle aimed at my chest. While they were running my bloodwork, Dr. Y took me back to a room and looked at my throat. He said it was a little red, but not bad and told me to call if it gets worse. About 5 minutes later, I had my results and the numbers were all still in the normal range! Dr. Y took a quick look and then told me he'd see me next week. I really like him. I'd had some people give me a hard time for not going to the Cancer Hospital in this town, but I really think I'm getting great care.

So after the doctor appointment, I did a little grocery shopping at Wal-Mart, grabbed some Chipotle for lunch then came home and read a little of a book I'm reading for fun. Then I took a two hour nap, got up finished my book and that's about it for today.

I promise tonight when Eric gets home, I'll track down the camera and post our Halloween pictures. I think Grace is about to get her 3rd tooth and it makes me a little sad. I love her two little bottom teeth, but the top right tooth is about to come in. I'm sure it will be plenty cute too. I also made an appointment to get a family Christmas picture done on Saturday. I'm not sure how Eric will feel about the idea, but it's scheduled! I bought a cute black, red, and white outfit for Grace earlier this week. Today, I got a black skirt and red top for me and I bought Eric a red, black and white tie that he can wear with a white dress shirt. I think we will look nicely color coordinated. I wanted to get the picture done before I start losing my hair, but mostly so I'd have pictures to send out in Christmas cards. I think I need to make my Christmas card list soon, so I'll know what to order.

That's it for now. Check in later for pictures!

Brain Fog

I feel icky. I feel bad complaining, but I should get a chance to do that on occassion, right?

I'm so tired. I think the fatigue thing has set in. It probably doesn't help that it's all rainy outside. Yesterday, I went back to bed at 8:00 a.m. (after Eric and Grace left for work) and slept until 10:30 a.m. Then I went to lunch with some work friends and was wiped out. I came home and napped from 2 to 3:30 p.m. and then picked Grace up around 5. I could hardly keep my eyes open until 10 p.m. yesterday. This morning I got up with Grace at 7. My underarm incision is starting to hurt again, so I wonder if I may be overdoing it. I managed to get her fed and ready for daycare before going back to bed. I got up at 10 and have been just sitting on the couch for the last hour. I don't even know what to do. Everything seems like it would take too much energy. I've got an appointment with Dr. L this afternoon, we'll see what she says about my stitches. Tomorrow morning I have a CBC, I wouldn't be surprised if my white counts have dropped a bit. Maybe that would explain why I'm so wiped out. My throat was a little sore this morning too.

Seems like I should have had a purpose to this post other than to complain, but I can't seem to find it. I don't even have pictures to post. Eric took the camera to work, so I'll have to wait until later to post Grace's Halloween pictures. Well, I'm going to try to find something fairly productive to do that doesn't take too much energy. Can't believe I might go back to work this week. At least I'd feel like less of a bum, but I'm not sure how I'll do without the naps.

I'll try to find something better to post about later. I'm sure I'll pull out of this funk.