One Year

One year ago yesterday, at about 9 am, I got the phone call that changed my life. I was still asleep in bed, enjoying the last day off work after my surgery and a quiet house as Eric had gone to work and Grace to daycare. Then as I started to wake up I realized it can never be good news when the surgeon calls you herself.

Sometimes it seems like an eternity since that day, sometimes just moments. Now I look back from the other side (mostly) and think "wow" what a year. To recap...Treatment wise, I have had 2 surgeries (technically only 1 since the phone call), 6 rounds of chemo, 6 1/2 weeks of radiation, 10 months of Herceptin, a core needle biopsy, blood draws, CT scans, Muga Scans, MRI's, Mammagrams, all resulting in approximately 37 needle sticks (either by arm or port) give or take a few.

I have decided that I want a career change and have been working towards the goal of someday going to medical school, although I'm accepting getting there is still going to take several years. I finished 2 courses of Chemistry, and just started #3 in Chemistry and Biology. I also completed 2 courses for my CPCU and only have 1 more to take before I will be rewarded with a trip to Hawaii next September. I've been working really hard and feel very confident in my abilities at my job and am starting to think that my boss is starting to get it too.

I've watched my daughter go through so much. She learned to crawl, to walk, to run, to jump. She had her 1st birthday, 2nd Christmas, and a major surgery spending almost a week in the hospital. Her cleft palate is completely repaired now, she can drink from a straw (thanks Grandpa) and she eats all table food. She is talking more and more every day and melts my heart with her hugs and kisses.

I've learned what a support system I have. I have an amazing husband, parents that volunteered to fly in just to sit with me when I heard the news. Friends that have become more like family than I could have expected. Church friends that gathered around me and kept me covered with prayer and were always willing to bring us a meal or babysit for Grace. My work collegues allowed me to take time off as needed without a second thought, and let me come right back and pick up where I left off. Old friends that I hadn't spoken to in years came out of the woodwork and offered their thoughts, prayers, and support. Strangers to me that are friends of other family and friends also kept me lifted up. I am so thankful.

Physically, I have changed so much. I lost all my hair, gained 20 pounds on steroids, and was physically the most exhausted I've ever been. Chemo stopped, I grew hair back, went on a diet, lost the 20 cancer pounds, plus the 10 post-baby pounds I gained. I've learned that I look cute with short hair, that shoes can make an outfit, and you can never have too many pairs of dangly earrings. I feel good, I feel strong and I won't take for granted being able to play with my child, play softball, or pick up a new hobby like golf. (All things I've done this year)

I knew this day was coming up and I planned on writing yesterday, but guess what... I was too busy enjoying my life. Finally after several months of traveling, and studying and working, I had time to spend the day with Samara. We picked up right where we left off and didn't stop talking for the whole 7 hours or so we spent together. We had lunch with our daughters, we made a quick stop at Babies R Us mainly for me to look for fall/winter clothes for Grace. We dropped Grace off at home for her nap and then went to the mall. After all the shopping, we came back to my house, grilled out with the family and talked some more. She again made me thankful that I've been blessed with such wonderful friends. She also gave me a little more perspective about continuing my family. I'm still going to play it by ear, but I think I'm officially moving my planned Med school start date back a year. It was going to be very difficult to meet the goal anyway, and highly unlikely that I would have been able to have another child before school. If I take another year (now looking at pre-req, MCAT, and application completion in 2009, with a 2010 start date), I'll have a longer time frame to have another child. This way if we have difficulties (which we won't know until we try), I'll have at least a full year to figure out what we are going to do about it. Plus right now I have great insurance that would pay for most fertility treatments if needed. Not sure what the insurance will look like after I quit my job and we switch to Eric's company plan. Still have another year to wait, but really what's a year?

So, this isn't a sad post. I wouldn't have chosen breast cancer and the treatments weren't fun, but really, I survived. I am a survivor. Now, I just need to keep living my life and never forget the lessons that this year has taught me.

Lost & Found

Lost & Found
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma.

These items were left behind last weekend. If they are yours, please contact me to claim them.

Also, I uploaded more pics from the weekend and some random ones of Grace in Flickr.

GWO Girls

GWO Girls
Originally uploaded by Jenmomma.

I haven't uploaded any other pictures, but this is the girls right before going out dancing.

Last weekend I hosted another Girl's Weekend. Thursday night Erica and Danialle drove over. We watched a little TV caught up and went to bed.

Friday, we got up and sent Grace off to daycare and then went to a local 9-hole golf course and played a round. Erica and Danialle had never golfed, but they both did really well. I think Erica may even take up the sport now and we've discussed golfing on other Girls Weekends (when the weather is nice). After golfing we went to Target for a little shopping and then browed DSW before heading home to visit with Grace before her bedtime. Heather drove over and arrived around the time we put Grace to bed. Then we went and picked up BW3's and took it back home to watch a little TV and catch up some more.

Saturday we got up early and hit the stores as soon as they opened. First stop was Kohl's. There was a lot of group cooperation and trying on of clothes. (See my outfit in the picture). Three hours later we checked out. (Good thing I've been working all that overtime!). Next we went to DSW and Filene's where I bought 2 pair of boots for only $30 each! After that stop we headed to the mall. Most of the damage for me was jewelry and accessories. FUN! We came home and took a nap for about an hour to get ready for the night. We then took our time getting all sexy for the night. Finally around 8:30 we went to El Vaquero for some Mexican. We took out time eating and then went downtown to hit the clubs. Just about when we were giving up on the "hip-hop" club, it started picking up. The dance floor filled, the songs got better, and we started dancing. We danced and danced and danced. It was so much fun. We stayed until about 2 am and then came home and crashed.

The girls got up fairly early on Sunday morning and headed back to Indiana round 8 a.m. I spent the rest of the day being pretty lazy. I let Eric go to Martin's to watch football, since he watched Grace while he let me go out. Overall a good weekend and much needed break from all the stress I've had lately.

Guess Who...

Guess who forgot to pay her tuition by Friday? Yep, that's right. I forgot to go online and pay and Saturday when I went to do it, they had already dropped all my classes for Autumn quarter (which starts on Wednesday). Today I got online and attemped to re-register. No problem with the last Chemistry class with the Saturday lab, but they wouldn't let me register for the Biology class. When I registered the first time I had to get the department head to sign me in since I don't have the pre-reqs for that class. I'm hoping the signature will still hold and I can get back in without getting all the signatures again. I've gotta find time to do that tomorrow, maybe over lunch?

Uggh. What a difference 24 hours makes. One day earlier and I would have saved myself lots of trouble.

In other news, just found out I passed my 7th CPCU exam on Thursday. One more to go before qualifying for the trip to Hawaii next September!

Results

Thought I'd share some recent results.

First of all, just today I checked and they have posted the final grades from the Summer Quarter at school. I GOT AN A! This is such a relief. I really worked hard this quarter, so it's nice to know that it paid off. Now just 10 days until the Autumn quarter starts where I'll be taking my final quarter of General Chemistry and my first quarter of Biology. We'll see if I can handle two classes at the same time.

Secondly, on August 29th I had my results appointment with the Cancer Genetics counselor. I tested negative for both the BRCA 1 & BRCA 2 genes. After taking some time to process, this really is a good thing. For me personally, it means that I do not have any greater risk than the general population for Ovarian Cancer (2% lifetime risk). This means that there will be no reason that I should need to have my ovaries removed for prevention sake. For Grace, it means that I don't have a genetic mutation to pass on. If I did pass on a genetic mutation, her risk would have been 35-85% to get breast cancer. Now, it's probably still higher than the general population (just because I got it at such a young age), but it's not a near certainty. For the rest of my family, there will be no further testing or other family members to warn. The downside to the negative result is that they still have no idea why I got cancer. I've decided I don't care so much. I'm still doing the treatment thing, but I'm moving on. Doesn't matter why I got it, we treated it, and now it's over. If it comes back I'll deal with it then, but in the meantime, I've got a life to live.