Grace was a ladybug for Halloween. After some initial confrontation over the costume (I admit the red and black tights may have been a bit much), the evening went well.
We trick or treated for about 30 minutes. Grace got lots of candy and even said "Thank you" at the last 3 or 4 houses. Only one house was "scary" and she started to throw a fit when we got back home and she had to go inside. Grace did enjoy watching us hand out candy to Trick-Or-Treater's though and she ate plenty of her own goodies before passing out in a sugar coma and going to bed.
Check out the rest of the pictures in Flickr, they should be in order if you go to the "Grace" set.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Why I Wore Red Lipstick...
A week or so ago, there was a Lifetime movie on called "Why I Wore Red Lipstick to My Mastectomy." I recorded it on the DVR and just got around to watching it tonight. I must say I was surprised at my response. To give you a brief overview of the story, a 27 year old woman on the brink of starting to try to have children, finds a lump in her breast. She's married to a doctor and after a flurry of testing they find out she has cancer. She spends some time researching and decides to have a masectomy rather than a lumpectomy and radiation. She then goes through chemo. The story has a nice wrap up including a tattoo to remind her of her fight, a photo shoot for Self magazine showing her scar, and finally a baby being born.
I'm over a year out from my diagnosis, my scars have healed, my chemo was finished 8 months ago, and I'm almost done with the Herceptin treatment. I've never found it difficult to discuss my cancer situation and have in general felt that I've been very positive and optimistic.
Tonight I started watching the movie while Grace was coloring before starting her bedtime routine. As the movie started and she started having all the tests done, I felt the tears coming and realized I couldn't watch it casually while playing with Grace. I turned it off until after bedtime where I could feel free to feel any emotion that came to me.
Watching this woman go through what I've just been through brought back so many memories. I forgot how scared I was those first couple of weeks when everything is so uncertain. I even briefly wondered if I should have considered a masectomy. I realized I never want to do it again. I watched her go through chemo and she looked so pale and frail and never cut her hair as it thinned. I was proud of the fact that I didn't ever get that sick and people always said I looked great (heck I even gained 20 pounds). I'm glad I shaved my hair off and wore my baldness like a badge of honor. I related to the discussions in the chemo room with other patients. I felt thankful that my relationship with my husband only got stronger while at first she struggled with hers. I loved that she got a tattoo to symbolize her journey. So did I, but she did it alone, and I did it with my girlfriends.
And I relized that maybe my scars haven't healed yet. This journey isn't over, it's something that will always be with me. A time in my life that I can reach back to and draw strength from. And I loved the ending where she had a baby (the after credits told about her second one). Cancer didn't steal my life or my future. It made me appreciate what I have and vow to make my life and my future something I can look back and be proud of. So many people don't make it through cancer. If I'm one of the lucky ones that do make it (which I fully intend to be), I want to make sure my life was worth being here for.
Speaking of...I've got a Chemistry book upstairs calling my name. If I ever want to get into medical school....
I'm over a year out from my diagnosis, my scars have healed, my chemo was finished 8 months ago, and I'm almost done with the Herceptin treatment. I've never found it difficult to discuss my cancer situation and have in general felt that I've been very positive and optimistic.
Tonight I started watching the movie while Grace was coloring before starting her bedtime routine. As the movie started and she started having all the tests done, I felt the tears coming and realized I couldn't watch it casually while playing with Grace. I turned it off until after bedtime where I could feel free to feel any emotion that came to me.
Watching this woman go through what I've just been through brought back so many memories. I forgot how scared I was those first couple of weeks when everything is so uncertain. I even briefly wondered if I should have considered a masectomy. I realized I never want to do it again. I watched her go through chemo and she looked so pale and frail and never cut her hair as it thinned. I was proud of the fact that I didn't ever get that sick and people always said I looked great (heck I even gained 20 pounds). I'm glad I shaved my hair off and wore my baldness like a badge of honor. I related to the discussions in the chemo room with other patients. I felt thankful that my relationship with my husband only got stronger while at first she struggled with hers. I loved that she got a tattoo to symbolize her journey. So did I, but she did it alone, and I did it with my girlfriends.
And I relized that maybe my scars haven't healed yet. This journey isn't over, it's something that will always be with me. A time in my life that I can reach back to and draw strength from. And I loved the ending where she had a baby (the after credits told about her second one). Cancer didn't steal my life or my future. It made me appreciate what I have and vow to make my life and my future something I can look back and be proud of. So many people don't make it through cancer. If I'm one of the lucky ones that do make it (which I fully intend to be), I want to make sure my life was worth being here for.
Speaking of...I've got a Chemistry book upstairs calling my name. If I ever want to get into medical school....
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Some more Results
Just a quick update. Things have been crazy busy around here. I even broke out in hives last week!
Yesterday I had a Herceptin/Doctor's appointment. Good news is that my MUGA result was back up to 69%, so since it went up and not down, I can finish my Herceptin treatment, which only actually is resulting in 2 more appointments! I'll be finished the first week of December. I also mentioned in this appointment that over the last couple of months, when I have a very "solid" BM, I tend to get a little blood. I assume it's just a small hemmroid or something, but with the recent news of my friend's colon cancer, I wanted to at least mention it to a doctor. Now Dr. Y wants me to have a colonoscopy. He made me an appt. with a GI Dr. in December. I really just thought he'd tell me it was nothing and I could file that away in the "nothing to worry about" category, but I think once you have a history of cancer they check everything out. I asked him if he thought this was going overboard, and he assured me that even though it's highly unlikely that I have a polyp (although he followed that up with a comment about the small chance of my breast cancer too), that at this point for me to have a high quality of life, he doesn't want me to worry. So if he can give me an answer and a reason not to worry, he would rather go ahead and do that rather than ignore it. I guess that's ok, but I'm not really looking forward to this procedure and it seems a little silly to me when I'm sure I just have a hemmroid or something. On the other hand I've also been getting consitpated more often than I used to and for the last couple of weeks I've had a little lower back pain, so maybe I should get checked out.
I also yesterday had my annual GYN appointment. No surprises or major events, but I did discuss a little with the Dr. regarding what happens when we finally get to start trying for #2. She suggested that after I stop the Tamoxifen that I use OPK's for a couple of months, just to be sure that I am actually ovulating. If not, she can try to help me out with that, if I am, then she'll have us try for 6 months or so before we start suspecting any problems and move to the next step, whatever that may be. The time will be here before we know it.
In other news, I had my first test in both my Biology and Chemistry classes last week. The Bio test had a curve and after the curve, I got a 97%. The Chem class didn't curve and I got an 80%. Not super happy about the 80, but it's still possible to finish strong and get an A in the class. I just have to keep trying!
Grace is growing like a weed and is such a joy. I absolutely adore this age. However, we're having a minor daycare delima. They sent home a note and starting in November rates go up. In our class room it's an increase of $20 per week. Now we'll be paying $5 more than when she was in the infant room. I'm guessing it's still reasonable for the area and we love her teachers and the facility, it just sucks that we're going to have to pay more.
Ok, my family is home and I'm going to dinner with Grace and some women that I used to work with, so I better get going. Just thought I'd pass along some information
Yesterday I had a Herceptin/Doctor's appointment. Good news is that my MUGA result was back up to 69%, so since it went up and not down, I can finish my Herceptin treatment, which only actually is resulting in 2 more appointments! I'll be finished the first week of December. I also mentioned in this appointment that over the last couple of months, when I have a very "solid" BM, I tend to get a little blood. I assume it's just a small hemmroid or something, but with the recent news of my friend's colon cancer, I wanted to at least mention it to a doctor. Now Dr. Y wants me to have a colonoscopy. He made me an appt. with a GI Dr. in December. I really just thought he'd tell me it was nothing and I could file that away in the "nothing to worry about" category, but I think once you have a history of cancer they check everything out. I asked him if he thought this was going overboard, and he assured me that even though it's highly unlikely that I have a polyp (although he followed that up with a comment about the small chance of my breast cancer too), that at this point for me to have a high quality of life, he doesn't want me to worry. So if he can give me an answer and a reason not to worry, he would rather go ahead and do that rather than ignore it. I guess that's ok, but I'm not really looking forward to this procedure and it seems a little silly to me when I'm sure I just have a hemmroid or something. On the other hand I've also been getting consitpated more often than I used to and for the last couple of weeks I've had a little lower back pain, so maybe I should get checked out.
I also yesterday had my annual GYN appointment. No surprises or major events, but I did discuss a little with the Dr. regarding what happens when we finally get to start trying for #2. She suggested that after I stop the Tamoxifen that I use OPK's for a couple of months, just to be sure that I am actually ovulating. If not, she can try to help me out with that, if I am, then she'll have us try for 6 months or so before we start suspecting any problems and move to the next step, whatever that may be. The time will be here before we know it.
In other news, I had my first test in both my Biology and Chemistry classes last week. The Bio test had a curve and after the curve, I got a 97%. The Chem class didn't curve and I got an 80%. Not super happy about the 80, but it's still possible to finish strong and get an A in the class. I just have to keep trying!
Grace is growing like a weed and is such a joy. I absolutely adore this age. However, we're having a minor daycare delima. They sent home a note and starting in November rates go up. In our class room it's an increase of $20 per week. Now we'll be paying $5 more than when she was in the infant room. I'm guessing it's still reasonable for the area and we love her teachers and the facility, it just sucks that we're going to have to pay more.
Ok, my family is home and I'm going to dinner with Grace and some women that I used to work with, so I better get going. Just thought I'd pass along some information
Saturday, October 14, 2006
The Cancer Blog
I have a post about me on The Cancer Blog. October is breast cancer awarness month and one of my in-the-computer friends has posted a "Survivor Spotlight" about me. Go here to read it.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Best Friends
No time to write now. I'll try to update on Sunday. Click to see more cute pics in Flickr.
So Much...
I have so much to write about, but only about 15 minutes, so I'm going to give you a list of topics, I'd like to talk about and then the one that I feel is most important right now.
Topics I Don't Have Time to Discuss Right Now- Last Tuesday (10/3) was my 3 year anniversary of my D&C
- I was asked to join a Task Force at work for the whole zone that could get me some valuable exposure and will look great on a resume
- I was given 2 new accounts at work
- Tuesday (10/3) Grace went to her first dentist appointment
- Friday (10/6) Eric had a Colonoscopy. (He's fine, just some hemmroids)
- The weekend. Visit to the pumpkin farm, pumpking painting, and playing with Ava including pictures.
- I was asked to do an interview/bio for The Cancer Blog by a fellow blogger. (Still want to do it, haven't had time to answer the questions)
Here's what I do want to talk about. One of my friends and coworkers, Kim, also had a colonoscopy on Friday. We joked because she and Eric had the same doctor and were only a couple hours apart. Monday, I found out that she is not fine. They found a large tumor and she has colong cancer. This breaks my heart as she is a 43 year old single mother. Her youngest is 2 1/2 and was due only a week from when my first baby was due. She babysits for Grace on occasion and is a wonderful person. She's trying to be strong, but she worries. They did more tests, and what we know so far, is that the tumor was large and probably had been there for a couple of years. She is getting a port this week and will start chemo next week. She'll do 5 weeks (possibly continuously), then wait 8 weeks and have surgery to remove it. During her CT, they also saw 4 small spots on her liver, but the doctor isn't convinced that those spots are cancer. For her sake, I certainly hope they aren't. I'm just so sad for her, but I keep trying to give her encouragement and offering to be support for her in whatever way she needs it. I hate that I know so many people around me dealing with this, but if my experience can be a source of strength or hope for one of them, it was worth it. Kim is going to have a hard fight, but when she gets through it, she will be stronger, more compassionate, and really appreciate the best parts of life. I look forward to her transformation. I hope it is filled with as little pain and fear as possible. Please keep Kim in your prayers.
Topics I Don't Have Time to Discuss Right Now- Last Tuesday (10/3) was my 3 year anniversary of my D&C
- I was asked to join a Task Force at work for the whole zone that could get me some valuable exposure and will look great on a resume
- I was given 2 new accounts at work
- Tuesday (10/3) Grace went to her first dentist appointment
- Friday (10/6) Eric had a Colonoscopy. (He's fine, just some hemmroids)
- The weekend. Visit to the pumpkin farm, pumpking painting, and playing with Ava including pictures.
- I was asked to do an interview/bio for The Cancer Blog by a fellow blogger. (Still want to do it, haven't had time to answer the questions)
Here's what I do want to talk about. One of my friends and coworkers, Kim, also had a colonoscopy on Friday. We joked because she and Eric had the same doctor and were only a couple hours apart. Monday, I found out that she is not fine. They found a large tumor and she has colong cancer. This breaks my heart as she is a 43 year old single mother. Her youngest is 2 1/2 and was due only a week from when my first baby was due. She babysits for Grace on occasion and is a wonderful person. She's trying to be strong, but she worries. They did more tests, and what we know so far, is that the tumor was large and probably had been there for a couple of years. She is getting a port this week and will start chemo next week. She'll do 5 weeks (possibly continuously), then wait 8 weeks and have surgery to remove it. During her CT, they also saw 4 small spots on her liver, but the doctor isn't convinced that those spots are cancer. For her sake, I certainly hope they aren't. I'm just so sad for her, but I keep trying to give her encouragement and offering to be support for her in whatever way she needs it. I hate that I know so many people around me dealing with this, but if my experience can be a source of strength or hope for one of them, it was worth it. Kim is going to have a hard fight, but when she gets through it, she will be stronger, more compassionate, and really appreciate the best parts of life. I look forward to her transformation. I hope it is filled with as little pain and fear as possible. Please keep Kim in your prayers.
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